Blog Tech

Day 21

Blogging method? There is a whole world of bloggers with all different kinds of topics, purposes, and styles. So last night I went through all the blog settings and read a bunch different forums on how to make your blog standout and attract an audience. Does this make me a nerd? Since it was friday night it probably just makes me lame. Oh well. I didn't know there was such a strategy to it. I thought you just wrote and people read, which is probably why my main audience is my family who reads mostly out of obligation.

Some of the recommendations for attracting a crowd are creating post titles that will pop up in search engines, set up pings (still have to research what that is), link to other blogs, comment often, pretty much spend more time not blogging. Also, you can add lots of little gadgets to distract your audience from reading your posts. Since I love gadgets I added a bunch of them. My favorite gadgets are slideshows and music playlists. There are so many that I haven't figured out, but a cluttered blog is a bad blog... so I might need to delete a few.

After an hour of research I added a link to my sister's blog. I don't know how that will advance my blog in anyway. Hopefully she'll feel obligated to do the same. That's the goal anyways, along with promoting her of course.

There are so many different things you can do to help enhance your blog that it can be overwhelming. For example, finding your audience. Who think about that? I could have a food or fitness blog, but it would require me to cook or workout every day. Who has time for that? Also, I'm not sure I want to be limited in what I can write about. But maybe I should find my niche. What kind of people want to hear about the inner workings of my life? Hmmm. Uh oh. It might be time to change tactics. Any ideas?

As I was researching the blog world I did read that the most important thing about blogging is your writing. That's a relief... kinda. While my grammar might make my high school english teacher cry... oh wait I was home schooled... so if my mom is crying its because she failed. My upbringing might have stunted my English skills, but hopefully the rest of my life has left me with experiences and a certain outlook worth reading about. If not I'm open to suggestions. And by suggestions I mean links to money making blogs not your actual opinion.

Should have spent more time reading this book.

Perspective

Day 20

Who doesn't love sitting by the fire on a raining day reading a good book? That is exactly what I wish I was doing. Unfortunately, I'm running errands in this dripping wet bleakness bordering soggy coldness/uncomfortable sweat. It's just not worth taking off my huge down jacket once I make it to the car even though I start burning up.

I hate how my day off has been a clusterbutt of annoying tasks. First my family is down to 1 car so we all have to make the trip downtown to drop off my mom at work. Then me and my dad drive 20 minutes to the next town to the mechanics. When I get to my car I check my once leaky trunk that was "fixed" to find out that it is now flooded... not fixed. I let the mechanic know that the leak he fixed wasn't fixed at all. Since my car is awaiting parts he said he'd look at it when I drop it off again. Great. I always wanted a pimped out ride with a not-so-hot tub. So I drove my heatless portable pool crying wah wah wah all the way home.

One of my errands was taking our dog Pepe to the vet for rabies shots and a nail clipping. When Pepe was getting his nails clipped he screamed like we were cutting off his paws. Pepe would cry in agony before the vet even cut a nail. I would hate to be a dog in that waiting room. I could just see some mutt saying to his owner, "I promise I won't poop on your bed anymore. Please don't let them take me!!!". After they bandaged a bad nail he limped around like he just had an amputation. What a drama queen.

After I finished all my mandatory errands I went to a store where the swimsuit line just came in... D&B (aka Ross). I'm not a huge shopper, but I need a lap swimming suit and Ross gets some Speedos at a decent price. As I was headed into the store I noticed a homeless guy sitting near the entrance holding a "hungry" sign. I guilted (not a real word, but I don't know a better one) my boyfriend, Rez (names were changed to protect the innocent) who just bought two Wendy's burgers to give one to the homeless guy. So as I handed over the burger to man another homeless man near the exit doors yells, "hey over here!". I only had one burger. Awkward. The man I handed the burger to told me to go and give the other homeless guy the burger. I asked if he was sure. He replied that he just ate and that he was sure. So I walked over to the other homeless exit door man and told him that entrance man said he could have the food. Exit man and his cute dog were so thankful. As I walked into Ross both men called out "God Bless" and "God be with you". Wow. What selfless giving and thankfulness. I can't believe I complain so much about my life. I want to go back and delete the first part of my blog. Even though my car is constantly freezing I still have a warm house to run in to and plenty of food in it. I hate it when our lives are put in perspective.

When I left Ross I told the burgerless man that I would drive to Wendy's so he could have a burger for later. He told me that he was fine and didn't need anything right then, but thank you and God be with you. I thought for a moment, "What if this is Jesus?". It's easy to give when you have an excess or when you are giving away a burger that isn't yours (thanks Rez). It's much harder to give someone something you are also in need of. I can give away food and clothes because I have more than enough to get by. What about giving away your iPod or bicycle? Some of us might have an iPhone and still wouldn't give away an iPod even an old one. Damn perspective. I've got to stop whining. But then what will I blog about?

After the homeless humbled me I went home and continued my day. What to do different? Then on the way to grab some pizza with my family Rez noticed a car that had crashed into a ditch. He turned around to make sure everyone was ok. A kid around 18 had hydroplaned and lost control. He was pretty shook up and asked if we could take him home. Luckily it was near by... did I mention I was hungry? I guess my new outlook didn't last long. A daily reminder of how lucky I am obviously isn't enough, I guess I need an hourly reminder. We drop the kid off and head over to dinner. Phew the pizza wasn't ready yet. Oops I mean I'm so thankful that I get to spend time with my family. The pizza was quite enjoyable as well.

I'm so thankful for my cold car for getting me where I need to go and that most those places are warm.

limp pepe

BMTroubleU

Day 19

Why didn't I just buy a Honda? Who cares if my car isn't fast, fun, and super cute. All I want now is a car that is reliable and inexpensive to fix. Who knew that a 1987 BMW would cause me so much grief? I don't remember how much I've paid in repairs over the years, but it's getting close to what a paid for, $2,000.

My car, Thorn, (she's red and every rose has it's... well you know). Brett would be proud at least. Right now my girl has 3 problems... that I know of. The worst and most reoccurring problem is my fan blower. It goes out in the summer so nothing cures my sweaty pits and leather seat burned butt. Now that it is winter and a storm just hit I miss the sauna car. When I get off work at midnights I wrap myself in a snuggie, and put on gloves before I hurry home while trying to not notice my frosty breath (I see dead car). Sometimes I have to wipe or roll down my windows because the fog has impaired my vision. This experience has brought me to tears... it's just so miserable and humbling. Oh how I wish this darn town had public transpiration.

The next problem is my right rear blinker. For as much as I love cutting people off I'd like to at least give them a little warning. Now I have to drive even more aggressively because I need to give myself a little more space to switch lanes since no one around knows its coming.

Last problem is my honkless horn. At first I figured this might be a good thing because I can get horn happy if someone cuts me off or takes too long at the light. Unfortunately, I realized that I need a horn to let oblivious people know they were about to ram into me. Luckily no crashes yet, but some pretty close calls could have been less ulcer forming if I had given the irresponsible driver a warning honk.

Last week the forecast said a storm was coming and I didn't feel like getting frostbite so I took Thorn in to the shop. When you take your car in its never an easy fix like a busted fuse or a piece you don't have to order from Bavaria. The dreaded mechanic call went like this, "Ummm Amy you need a new fan motor. The part costs $300 and the labor $100. And the blinker? Weeelll that will be another $250. Nooooooo!!!" I told the mechanic I'll pick up my car and let him know when I sell a kidney. Kidney anyone?

$650, what a thorn in my side. Can we go back to the horse and buggy days? How much are horses going for? So feeling like a preteen depending on rides the past 2 days has been all for nothing?!

I am creating a donation button below for anyone who wants to contribute to the bring back buggy cause (aka heal bleeding Thorn). If not... wanna buy a Beamer? $2,000. No? Bring on the pneumonia.

no car? guess these boots were made for walking

College after college

Day 18

I'm back in college. No I'm not going for my master's or anything useful. Since I graduated with my degree 4 years ago I've taken at least one college class almost every semester. I just love learning. That doesn't make me a nerd. I'm just trying to avoid getting a real job.

The semester after graduation I enrolled in a Photoshop, Dreamweaver, and Spanish 1 class at my local community college. I took Photoshop and Dreamweaver with my dad and Spanish 1 with my sister. Only one of us finished all the classes. Like you need to guess who. The Photoshop class was a mistake because I already had a lot of experience editing my photography with this program. I thought the class would have progressed into something more advanced. Nope. Waste of time. The web-programming class was with a first year professor and he was all over the place. I didn't make a website or retain anything useful. You think after that experience I would have given up on continuing my learning. However, my Spanish class was amazing. It was immersed learning style, which I've come to believe is the best way to learn a language. Basically the professor talks in Spanish as much as possible and you kind of feel like you are flailing to keep your head above water, but there is no way better way to learn to swim than jumping in the deep end... at least that is what my parents thought.

The following semester I moved towns and went to another community college. This time I took German and a Best Film Directors class. I enjoyed both classes. German felt slow compared to the sink or swim Spanish class I just took. There wasn't enough German talk. It was like German culture class. I even had to do a German presentation in English. What's the point in that?

The best directors class was fascinating. Only problem was that it was a night class that was 4 hours long. After a 2 hour lecture the lights were turned off and the feature film was played. While Maltese Falcon is a critically acclaimed film it was slow, old, and in black and white so I might have had a few drool spots on my notebook on a couple occasions. This class did spark an interests in exploring the classics. For example, yesterday I just finished 12 Angry Men. I did fall asleep the first night, but made it through the second. I've realized that movies without explosions or car chases need be to watched before 9pm and sitting in a theater not laying down in bed. Next on my list is Casablanca. If you have any recommendations let me know.

Semester 3. German again. You must be thinking why German? Well during this time I was living in Germany. The worst thing about this class was the German teacher. He was brutal. He assigned us to memorize a Bible verse or worship song. I asked if I could do a non-worship song. At first he said no, but then I reminded him that he let someone else in class recite Shakespeare. Nothing like pressuring your teacher. What a mistake. So I memorized Komm Gib Mir Deine Hande (I want to hold your hand) by The Beatles. I hate speaking in front of people, but I had spent a lot of time memorizing this song. When my turn finally came I walked to the front of the class and started reciting the lyrics. The teacher made me stop and told me he expected me to sing it. What?!!! No way. The student who read Shakespeare didn't use an old english accent (or whatever accent was used back then, Shakespearean?). He was adamant. I'm a terrible singer. I mouth the lyrics at church kind of terrible singer. I quickly made the excuse that I couldn't sing without music. Then some sadistic bastard in the class pulled up the song on his computer so I could sing for everyone. I should have picked a bible verse. This was by far the most awkward embarrassing moment ever. I talked/sang my way through the song while stopping short of the long notes... Komm gib mir deine haand (my version) komm gib mir deine haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand (Beatles' version). Damn Beatles. After I sat down cheeks blazing my teacher said "so you aren't much of a singer are you?". Oh you couldn't tell by my desperate plea to not sing?

Years afterwards people would still remind me of that memorable class. My teacher even told me before I left Germany that my voice wasn't bad, but more my tone. I'm so thankful no one had an iPhone to record with that day.

Semester 4. I was so traumatized that I didn't take any classes.

Semester 5. A new German teacher was hired. Too many crying students with the last guy. She was super sweet. Too sweet. I didn't learn much, but she did showed me how to make a Christmas wreath and linzer cookies.

Semester 6. I move back home and fooled myself into thinking I was moving to S.F. in a few months so I shouldn't take any classes.

Semester 7. I was done fooling myself and enrolled in 3 classes; jazz and ballet dance classes, and web programming. All the classes were a challenge. Ballet isn't for just twinkle toes. It's a lot of work to get your legs to stay up high and look graceful. The teacher would have fit in better in Russia. I was actually scared in that class. She had no problem using beginners as an example of what not to do. Jazz class was a blast. I did run into one big dilemma halfway through the semester. Dance recital?! What?! How did I miss this? As if singing in German wasn't bad enough. Why do I torture myself? Am I subconscious masochist? Nothing like practicing your entrechats during your work break.

My web programming class was nearly as awful. Nothing like being in class with a bunch of computer geeks who already have created 10 websites as shrines for whatever gaming chick they are currently fantasizing about. Are Laura croft and Zelda still hot items? I felt like I was taking a foreign language class where everyone was already fluent. By far this was the most challenging class I've ever taken. The class was 4 hours and I made sure to do as much homework as I could during the 2 hour lab time. So after everyone skipped out I'd be the last one asking question after question. It just wasn't clicking. At first the teacher appreciated my persistence till halfway through the semester when I was the only one preventing him from going home early. I hate HTML codes!!! Damn you nerds. I was successful in Flash but of course he hardly knew anything about the program so therefore only gave it 2 weeks of lectures. Ugh.

Semester 8. Wow this is getting to be a long blog. Next up. French 2, History of rock and jazz, and guitar. Even though I've completed French 4 that was 8 years ago and they've canceled French 3 & 4. Sad. French was a fun class. Great teacher. This class was so goofy that it made it easy to speak in French without reserve.

History of rock and jazz is an amazing class. I learned so much about the birth and evolution of the music we now enjoy. I didn't know I could love jazz.

Guitar. I took this class with my sister and we were both glad when it was over since we just wanted to be able to strum along to some of our favorite songs not listen to music theory and sheet reading. Also, we had to perform at the end of the class. Again? By now you think I'd be a pro at performing. Wrong. I picked a Dylan song which I refused to sing along with. My sis picked Justin Bieber and got the crowd to sing along. Ham!

Semester 9. I decided to explore the art realm that semester. I took ceramics and print making. These were my favorite classes. I did get a little hung up trying to throw on the wheel. Who wants to make pots anyways? Printmaking is my new calling. If you are unsure what this is imagine an old clothes ringer except you pull inked plates with paper through it. That gave you a clear picture, right? This class made me think that I might be an artist. I'm obviously not a numbers person.

Semester 10. This semester I decide to stick with something I'm good at, printmaking. I love it. I also want to get into the glass blowing class. I'm at the only community college that provides this glass blowing. I really hope that some people bail so I can get it. I mean it is super dangerous and you can't make pipes so half these people taking my slot should just drop now.

I understand that if I would have just invested the same amount of time to one subject I could have achieved a masters already and maybe be on my way to a doctorate. Where's the fun in that? Who wants to get a real job and not have time for taking elective classes? Next semester wine making?

This is how the songs is supposed to song.

 

machine monster at work

Well-rounded

Day 17

There is an endless list of things I want to do before I die and this week I didn't cross any of them off, but I did do some things I've never done before. Nothing too big, well within my means. African safaris just aren't in my budget right now. In the past week I've tried Tai Chi, knitted a hat, and baked homemade cinnamon raisin bread.

Tai Chi. I vaguely knew anything about it before I started. It looked like martial arts in slow motion. Which is pretty close to accurate. My club offers a Tai Chi class... well technically the yoga instructor provides the service for free and Tai Chi lovers donate what they can. When I showed up to class it was just me and the instructor. Uh oh. Luckily one more person showed up. I guess Redding hasn't caught on to the new trend. We were in a studio surrounded by mirrors so I could easily see how ridiculous I looked. The slowness pf the motion martial arts was a different kind of challenge. I wasn't breathing heavy or sweating. The hardest part was slowing my body down along with my mind. I realized the faster you do something the less aware you are of your body. It took a while before I stopped trying to guess the next move. The instructor said I was doing pretty well and that she could tell I used to dance... I might have mentioned I used the same room to practice for my dance recital, but I have no dance experience other than 2 college classes. I tried to be flattered, but at the same time I realized the only other participant was a 60 year old... she was great at moving slow. I'm not sure how I feel about this, but I'm willing to give it another try. If you are looking to sweat physically then this might not be for you, but if you want a brain sweat then definitely give it a try. We could all use some help slowing down or brains. Well maybe not all of us.
Knit hat. Wow that was easy. So easy it doesn't even feel like much of an accomplishment. All you need is some yarn and a loom. Loop, pull through, and repeat. I've already showed 3 people how to do it. Sorry if you are in the hat making business. Even though this didn't take quite the effort I expected it does feel great to wear something you made. "Oh you like my hat? Ya I made it myself. It was grueling work, but worth it."

Raisin bread. Nom Nom. I just had a leftover piece for breakfast and it was still delicious. I got the recipe from a bread making class I went to. All the recipes we went over in class were supposed to be easy. What is so hard about mixing ingredients together? The hard part is waiting for the rise and fall of the dough. For once I planned ahead and made the dough the night before. It was a good thing to because once you roll the bread up with all the ingredients it still takes another hour and forty minutes to rise in the pan before you bake it. Then 35 minutes to bake. So around 1pm I hate my delicious breakfast. I've seriously never had such soft moist raisin bread.

 

I'm sure you are starting to wonder how I have all this free time. Well I work nights. Also, everything I've done was free. Relatively free. I still have to pay for a gym membership to do the class. My mom bought the yarn and loom. Oh and raisin bread ingredients were about $8. Well its still cheaper than sky diving. Yes that's on my bucket list. There isn't a lot I'm not willing to try at least once. So while bakin, makin, and exercisin aren't life changing experiences they do enhance each day.

I know what you are thinking... "could this girl be anymore well rounded?"

Marriage

Day 16

Coincidence? After blogging about weddings last night I wake up this morning to the notification that my ex-boyfriend just got engaged. What impeccable timing? Maybe I should ask if he needs a dj. When I notified my family their first response was, "Are you ok?". Which is a normal question  to ask when the person I was once in love with decided to tie the knot with someone else. My honest answer to their concerned  question was just that I was shocked. We had broken up about a year and a half ago and they started dating last March... about 10 months ago. It all seems fast, but then again I like to take my time. My mom always told me that it takes about 2 years to see all the different sides of someone (this includes the engagement... I think). Someone could hide their problems for maybe a year if they are really talented, but eventually their true colors will show. The extra year is preparing for whether a lifetime together is a possibility. Then again my grandma only knew my grandpa for a month before they got married and they were together for over 50 years.

Me and my ex were together for over 1.5 years before we broke up. One problem was the different continents we were on.... the other ones aren't worth mentioning. This isn't about me convincing myself that he wasn't the one. I'm pretty sure I always knew that, but like my mom said "Amy, be careful because you can't help who you fall in love with." So true. If you like someone as a friend, but you know it wouldn't work then don't hang out with them every day. Unless they are gay... actually sometimes you can fall in love with them too.

Coincidence? I'm also peaking that hormonal time of the month so everything is wickity wack. I got trapped inside my head thinking I was getting old maidish. I feel like everyone around me is getting married. Or they are already married. Yet I still don't feel ready to get married. I plan on waiting till half my friends get divorced so I've lowered my percentages. I'm not being pessimistic or bitter. Statistics show that over 50% of marriages end in divorce. I think if I wait till the second marriage age then I've lowered my chances. When I was 19 I told my first boyfriend that I didn't want to get married till I was 28. He said he'd wait, but... well he's waiting, but not for me anymore.
As I was getting trapped in my head and emotions my mom said, "Just because you are surrounded by babies doesn't mean you have one." So wise. So true. I wish her wisdom came before I freaked on my current boyfriend telling him to hurry up and save money to buy my ring that I'm not prepared to wear. He did say he liked crazy girls... so really he brought it upon himself.

I can say I'm happy for my ex... even if it's not true. I kid. He was a great guy. I wish him the best. I had  hoped he'd live in the loss of the amazing Amy for a little longer, but that's just me being selfish. I wish I was every guy's girl that got away. I'm a narcissist.

So Ex I wish you the best. Years of happiness... and only a few of regret.

A provoking button at work

Here comes the brides

Day 15

Weddings. I don't know how after so many years why we still haven't figured out an online solution to wedding planning. All you do is enter your date, pick a theme (country, modern, chic), music genre, food, flowers, venue, ect. There's an app for that... right? I think it would be great to enter in all your info then be able to compare prices like you do for checking flights. If there is a website that simplifies all your choices let me know. If this were possible then what I participated in today wouldn't need to exist. Bridal fairs. Shouldn't they really be called wedding fairs in order to be politically correct. Can't have a wedding without a groom. I guess in some states you can... kudos to those states by the way.

Today as I was trying to promote me and my friends dj business I encountered many frantic and overwhelmed brides... and one or two grooms... tisk tisk grooms. I felt like I was in a farmer's market trying to convince the customer that my fruit was fresher, sweeter, and less expensive (cheaper isn't a good word to use... sounds too much like cheap). There is a reason I'm not in sales. It's exhausting talking to people. Which is probably why I don't have many friends. I realized that our setup wasn't as flashy or prestigious as other djs booths, but we were the cheapest (I mean best deal).

I don't really care to talk about my sales pitching skills, but rather the thousands of brides and their victims that passed through the halls of the wedding smorgasbord. Even though I'm not any where close to walking down any aisle, but one's shelved with edibles I went through the torture chambers of the bridal fair booths. Wow there are a lot of different things trying to convince of it's necessity in your wedding. For example, I was stationed next to a woman who had doves that you could release after the ceremony. Doves? There were lovely creatures, but do you have any lions that will walk me down the aisle? Or wolf cubs to hold the flowers? Now that would be awesome. Nothing against doves.

There was over 150 venues. From photographers and cinematographers, djs (the most important), caterers, bakers, florists, stylists, dress designers, plastic surgeons (cause the person who asked you to marry them needed you to change some physical appearances first. "Well sweetheart I guess we can't get our rings engraved in order to pay for the boob job."), personal trainers, and so on. There are so many different decisions to make. I got anxiety just through the vibes of the consumers were putting out. And my family wonders why I don't want to do wedding photography. So much stress. How could anyone afford all this? How do you decide what's important and what's not necessary? I'm so glad I'm "waiting" until all my friends get married do so I can learn from their mistakes.

All I want is someone to get everything ready for me and not have to worry. Eloping to Vegas is starting to look better and better. I'm hoping that by the time I'm ready to tie the knot around my neck everything will be programmed online. A girl can dream can't she? Maybe over the years I'll just make friends in every different type of wedding field... "Oh you are an event planner? My name is Amy let's be friends." I guess I better start work on my communication endurance. Weddings. Is it really worth it? I guess there is only one way to find out.

If I get too old for a Vegas wedding go ahead and give me all your recommendations. I feel like I should be prepared years in advance... for planning my sister's wedding of course. I'm not the wedding type. Not that I don't want to get married. I just don't want what I've seen today. I'm thinking cirque du soliel theme. They have lions right?

As for wedding dresses go I won't drag everyone along to endure in my indecision. Besides I won't really care about anyone's opinion anyways. It'll be short. It'll be danceable. And I plan on looking hot as hell... Umm... where was that personal training booth again?

I'm not discounting the holy matrimony in every... I mean any... way. I enjoy weddings... as long as they have an open bar... and a great dj of course.

happily ever after