It all started with a conference my mom wanted me and my sister to go to. It was called "Jesus Culture". Now don't get me wrong, I love Jesus, I love me a lot of Jesus, but I feel like I have heard of "Jesus" conferences and I either end up trying to sleep in a uncomfy chair, or end up setting there fuming because of some comment someone made about all women needed to procreate or something. But my mom is really good at guilt tripping sooooo, we went.
Now first off the worship just made you crave for more Jesus, you could feel the spirit so heavy in the room that you wanted to be a part of the movement. It was elevating. The worship went on for over an hour, normally I would have sat down and be done with it already, but when it ended it was almost sad. My spirit was unsatisfied, I wanted more.
The speakers came out and were all awesome. They all talked about their personal journeys with God and the power of the spirit. It was truly inspiring. I would go into more detail but we just dont have that kind of time today.
During the course of the 3 day conference they kept mentioning a bigger conference in Chicago. I kinda brushed it off because, oh I donno, its in CHICAGO. I mean I would love to go, but because of everyones current financial situations, ahem, my parents, lets be honest they pay for a lot, it just never occurred to me to ever consider it. A few days went by and my mom said that she really felt it in her heart that we were supposed to go to the conference. I kinda laughed because I felt it in my heart but I figured that was because I just want to go to Chicago. Well when the weeks continued of wanting to be a part of this movement in Chicago we finally decided as the Brown Family Girls, that we were going to embark on this adventure.
Then comes the fund raising. See, im the fun one, not the "lets sit down and figure this out" one. So, although I am on board to help, it wasn't ever really a motivation. UNTIL, I saw the movie Source Code. They panned over this magical city right in the beginning of the movie, I thought it was a made up set or something because I have never seen anything like it, nope, wasn't made up, it was CHICAGO. Thats when I started my motivation. I am so excited to start this adventure to go to Chicago with my sister and mom. We have always been girls to take a city by storm and I have the faith that God will get us there one way or another. If that means hitchhiking by an airport, so be it. Im in.
It seems that the Brown Girls adventures have always been pretty split up, we have had great adventures but not really as all three. This time we will leave with sparkles in our eyes, more in love with Jesus, and memories that we will be able to share forever.
Thank you Jesus for this opportunity. Thank you for being the best lover that we will ever find, and thank you for sweeping us off our feet daily and soon sweeping us over to Chicago.
Also, thank you ahead of time for those who are keeping us in your prayers and supporting us in any ways you can.
We will continue to update this blog throughout this adventure and do our best to bring you along
My next adventure from Macedonia was to Bulgaria with a Missionary couple (I’ll call them Mr. and Mrs. M) and their 4 little girls. The girls were between the ages of 12 and 6 and act just like sisters so I was a little worried about being crammed into a van for a 7-hour drive to their house in Sophia, Bulgaria. However, the girls were very pleasant. While watching the girls interact I thought I used to be that young arguing with my sis about things like, “I wanna listen to Dinosaur Stomp cd… well I don’t. I want Sunshine Mix…. Mom she got to listen to her cd last time… no I didn’t…. mom… moooooooooom….” Then I thought, wait, me and my sis still do that now. I had to give credit to those girls for being missionary kids, and having to grow up in a country where they don’t quite fit in. Not that growing up in America guarantees that you will fit in.
As we crossed the Macedonia-Bulgaria border I saw men riding carriages carrying hay, an old women guiding her sheep down the road, and a tractor causing a road block. It was all so simple, yet so beautiful. Bulgaria looked very similar to Northern California with its long stretch of rolling hills and trees covering them with their autumn colors.
About 7 hours later we arrived at the missionaries’ house tired and hungry. I met Simone (my boss) there and we started to layout the week ahead and decide what we wanted to accomplish. There were a lot of people to interview at many different locations.
The next day we went to Stubel, a small village, to interview a woman who had started a church there. It was amazing to listen to her story. Most people told her starting a church in the village could not be done, but she continued to gather believers and form a church. The next person we interviewed was a pastor of a church in another town who had an interesting story as well. He told us that while his church was being established there was a man who lived near by that constantly complained about the church to the authorities and wanted it to be shut down. The authorities caused some problems for the church, but did not really have a good enough reason to intervene. Well the next week the man was gathering signatures from local residence to have the church shut down and while he was walking by the steps of the church he had a heart attack and died. It was no surprise that the church no longer faced any conflict from the town’s citizens.
Me and Simone with a nice couple I randomly met when I was taking pictures near their home.
The next day we traveled to Vidrare to interview the principal of a school. The school was created for children in the local villages whose parents couldn’t afford for them to travel to school every week. The students live at the school during the week and go home on the weekend. The principal was having a hard time getting the children to behave. Then one of the Bulgaria missionaries intervened and started a bible study for the students. The children’s attitudes started to improve, so much that the parents noticed and then started their own bible study. When we arrived in a classroom all the students would stand to welcome us. I was incredibly impressed with how respectful and well behaved the students were. During the lunch break the younger children just latched on to Simone and I and wanted to play all day. They did not care that we could not speak the same language; they just wanted to feel loved. The children were amazing. Some were really shy; some were always posing for the camera, but most were smiling. It was unusual to see students without cell phones or ipods, but instead playing games and having a great time.
On the way home from Vidrare I noticed many families whose homes did not have much of a roof. Some houses looked like a Jenga structure that was only one block from crumbling. However, no matter how bleak these houses looked every time we passed someone they would always look up and smile. It made me feel so selfish and foolish for ever complaining about not having central cooling during the Redding summers or minor discomforts like that.
When I first arrived in Bulgaria it took a day to soak in the newness, and fight the vulnerable feeling inside that told me home is better. This was a feeling I get every time I travel. It usually takes a couple days of being immersed in the culture to get to the point where I do not what to leave. I was now at that point. I became so intrigued by Bulgaria that I wanted to learn more about the foreign land that I was in and the people that make it so unique to me. Time was going by so fast and I didn’t want to go “home”.
On the way back from our trip today Mrs. M started to talk about the orphanage where she worked. In the orphanage she works with the children to um… well just love them the way they should have been loved by their parents. As she described her job I couldn’t fathom doing what she does because of the heartbreak she endures every time she looks at the children’s face. I was not taken aback because the children are orphans as surprising as that sounds I am awestruck with what happens to the children at night when the lights go off. She told us that it is overt knowledge that the security guards of the orphanage are paid off to let men into the orphanage to rape the children. It is hard to even write this now let alone the feelings I had when I heard this. Mrs. M said that because of the corruption there is nothing that she can do. No one cares about orphans. I couldn’t and still can’t believe that this kind of evil is still so prevalent in the world today. Where are the authorities? This reminded me of the homeless boys in Ukraine. Now I know why those boys refuse to stay in the homes that the police try to stick them in. I would much rather be homeless and face the cold and starvation than be subjected to that kind of torture. I was filled with so much rage knowing that this can happen. I don’t know how she can have the strength to walk into that orphanage and try to convince those children that they are loved when the night before some disgusting evil “security” guard allowed them to be sexually abused. How can those children ever have a chance at a normal life or ever feeling of value? With all the missionaries we have and activists who are trying to change the world, I wondered what are they doing? How can they miss this? A main focus of the church is to bring God to people and convert people to Christianity, but I don’t think that was Jesus’ main goal. I think he would have cared more about saving the broken and battered children than planting more churches. I just don’t get it. What are we doing? What am I doing? I wish there was a way I could sneak into the orphanage and document the evil doings so I’d have evidence and those people would go to jail and get the same treatment or worse that they gave to those children. I didn’t and don’t like being filled with so much hate and anger, but they are so helpless and I feel helpless.
After I heard about these heartbreaking atrocities my heart and spirit felt heavy. Now every time I pray I think of those children and I become overwhelmed with sadness. I guess I always knew that there was evil in the world and children were mistreated like from those infomercials about adopt-a-child in Africa. You know the commercials that most hate to see and would rather change the channel than challenge their heart. While living in the California bubble I sheltered my thoughts from wandering far enough to think of all the suffering that occurs every day. Now that I know what goes on I can never go back to my blissful ignorance. These thoughts will stay with me forever.
I don’t even feel like continuing to write about the rest of the trip because I don’t want to take attention away from that experience. So I’ll end with I’ve been so impressed with the people I’ve met that have so little yet dedicate so much. This experience has stretched, humbled, and inspired me more than I could have ever imagined. Even though, my heart is heavier now that it ever has been I feel blessed to carry this burden of knowledge and an aching to impact this world the way it has impacted me.
So as I sat on a plane in Slovenia getting ready to fly to Macedonia I thought, this is my favorite part of my job, going somewhere totally new and not knowing what to expect. When I arrived in Macedonia I was surprised how much it reminded me of Slovakia. Even the layout of the airport felt familiar. I was in Macedonia for the Southeastern Europe Field Conference in order to interview people from all over the region while they were all collected in the same place. The Southeastern Europe region is made up of 12 countries: Macedonia, Bulgaria, Slovenia, Romania, Greece, Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia, Albania, Kosovo, Herzegovina, and Croatia.
Everyone we interviewed that week had a good story to tell, but there were a few that really captured my attention. For example, we interviewed people that had come from a Muslim background and they still had not told their families that they converted to Christianity out of fear of shaming their family or being disowned. I cannot fathom my family disowning me for anything I had done or could do. Losing my family would not just mean there are 3 less people in my life, but it’s like losing my history, security, friends, love, and identity. My family helped shape who I am. When I heard some of these stories I felt fortunate to have a family that loves me no matter how different our opinions may be. Those who accept Christianity knowing the consequences inspire me. It made me wonder what price would I pay for my faith? Could I give up my family to follow Jesus?
Other than our interviews, most of the time at the conference was spent in seminars. I enjoyed some of the seminars, but I preferred the time spent getting to know people. At the end of the conference there was a unique moment during the talent show when each country representatives sang a folklore or their national anthem. Romania sang their national anthem, which was adopted when they formed their independence from communist rule in 1989. It was strange to think of communism, as something so real when before it seemed so distant and foreign. The Romanians were so proud to be able to sing their national anthem. It was quite amazing to hear about the turmoil that some of these countries have faced and are still facing.
I listened to one of the Kosovo believers talk about the struggle of not being recognized as a country. My ignorance of this big world continues to amaze me. We continued our conversation as we went into the city of Strumica to get some b-roll footage (alternate footage that intercut with the main shot in an interview or documentary. For example, if the interviewee says I love PB&J sandwiches and then there was a separate shot of PB&J sandwiches that would be the b-roll footage). One Kosovo guy I talked to was an English major and also had started a Political Science degree. He told me that he hopes to work for the Kosovo Embassy one day. I foolishly asked him if he wanted to leave Kosovo and live in a more, well, stable country. He said he loves and respects his country and wants it to prosper and that is why he wants to work for the UN, in order to serve Kosovo and help make a difference in his country. I was fascinated with the respect he and the other Kosovars had for their country. I believe that too many times people complain about their country, but never make any effort to change anything. I wondered if due to Kosovo’s recent struggle for independence is why they had such national pride. I found that to be very admirable.
At the end of the conference I was glad to be getting out of the hotel and going to Bulgaria, but sad to leave these amazing people I had just met. Everywhere I have gone and everyone I have me seem to affect my life in a way that I will never be able to recover from. For that I am thankful.
Since I’ve gotten back from Ukraine I have moved into my own apartment, taken German lessons, and became more acquainted with my new home, Büsingen. So a little about Büsingen, it is a small German village (yes village, of 2.9 sq miles) inside Switzerland. It has about 1,400 people, but most people live up in the farmlands, so it feels even smaller. I’ve encountered only around 200 of the residents. The closest store is across the German border 6 miles away and it closes at 8pm and isn’t open on Sundays.
It has been quite a transition from Orange County, where there is a Starbucks on every corner, and grocery stores that are open 24/7. The slow pace of the village is difficult for me because I’m the kind of person who loves being busy. I try to cram everything I can into one day. If I have 20 minutes between activities I’ll find something to do and I love multitasking. For example, when I brush my teeth, there are 2 minutes I could be doing something else because I need only one hand for brushing so I’ll start to make my lunch or check my email. Since being in Büsingen I have had time to do the things I’ve always wanted or planned on doing. For example, I never knew how to cook. I thought it was because I didn’t like it, but it is really because it takes so long. Before, I would plan on making dinner around 7pm then I would get caught up doing something, then many things, and then around 10pm I’m starving and can’t wait to fix something so I would just eat cereal. Well I’ll just say that since I’ve moved here that I’ve learned to cook… pretty well. I know that some people would love to have more free time on their hands, but I’m not one of them. One weekend I painted everything in my room, my bed, mirrors, and bookshelf. I even have had time to catch up on my reading. Some of my recommendations are The Kite Flyer, Tractors in Ukrainian, The Time Traveler’s Wife, The Secret Life of Bees, and The Shack. If you recommend any books or movies let me know because I don’t watch T.V. so I don’t know about anything new in the media.
Nevertheless, as crazy as I might get in this little village, it is still a wonderful place to live.
I arrived in Mainz on Wed. night with all my luggage packed for a year stay. I struggled to get off the bus to make it to the hotel when luckily a bunch of Americans that worked on the project I was documenting helped me carry my luggage to the hotel. So in the first 2 minutes of my arrival I already knew I was in the right place.
Well I guess I should start by stating why I was in Mainz. A team of Germans planted a church in Mainz, Germany and our team documented the kick off week of their church. The church is called KIA (Kirche In Action) and it is a part of Project Noah, which plans to plant churches along the Rhine river. So far Mainz is the first church planted in this project. To kick off KIA there was what was called, "First Supper", a service that happened every night from Tue. till Sun. The evening event was held in a large tent set in the city center where anyone could come and eat for free, worship, listen to the sermon, and enjoy conversation with the witness teams. There was also a mission corp., Engedi, which sends over youth mission teams from the U.S. to help with the planning and preparation. These mission teams were spread throughout the city either giving "Jesus Treats" (cookies) to city offices, or picking up garbage in the swamp and around the city.
The church is made up of a mostly younger crowd with the average age around 22-26, including the pastor. People have committed 1 year or up to 5 years of their life to the KIA church and their dedication was inspiring. The KIA team, through funding and loans, was able to buy a run down hotel for their volunteers to live in. After the kick off KIA had their first service in the bar section of a movie theater. KIA was also trying to start a coffee shop where anyone can come and hang out, enjoy conversation, and fellowship.
Throughout the week it was amazing to see people coming from all areas into a tent to share food with people they've never met. There were many stories of people who came in and were overwhelmed with the love and compassion that they came back every night and even wanted to hang out after dinner.
When I arrived on this mission in Mainz it was the first time I had met my own team, Simone (boss), Steve (partner), both in 20s and from California. Small world. I started off disconnected and just doing my job. I used the camera as a way to distance myself from others in order to avoid conversation and interaction, but that didn't last. After I interviewed the pastor (Philip) for the documentary, he then questioned me. He asked me if I was encouraged. It is amazing how pastors sometime can catch you off guard with their to the heart questions. After I caught my breath from the intensity of the question I thought, hmmmm... well I had tried to just do my job and not interact and realized that it was impossible. However, I was glad that I failed at my task. I responded to Philip, "yes I'm encouraged". I was encouraged by the people involved in this mission. What these people were doing was amazing. What else was fantastic is that they were all so young with such big dreams, humble attitudes, and spiritual maturity.
Before I had arrived on Wed. I was nervous and apprehensive about volunteering for a non-profit that I knew nothing about. By the time I left Mainz I was convinced that this is where God wanted me to be.
Well, when we got to Buesingen, my new home, we had 4 videos that needed to be shot and edited for the National Youth Conference in Kiev, Ukraine. So in the past 3 days we have put out 14 hour days in order to finish. We leave for Kiev on July 31st and will be there for 3 weeks filming for the convention and mission trips.
So far that is a lot of info for only have arrived 10 days ago. I'll keep you all posted.
Wow, so right now I am in Slovakia. It feels weird just to write it. So far I haven't experienced too much culture shock, but at times there is this uneasiness that comes over me, like "What am I doing here?", "This is crazy!". Luckily the wave of anxiousness doesn't last too long before I'm ready for the next adventure. Oh and what an adventure this has been and will be. I couldn't have done this if it wasn't for everyone who supported me, financially, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. So thanks to everyone who has been a part of this adventure with me. Of course a special thanks goes out to Steve and Jo Campbell for setting me up with the job and helping me raise support. The greatest thanks to my family for instilling in me a passion to follow God and my dreams. Mom you given me the drive to do what I love no matter what, dad you have given me the strive for adventure and broadening my mind, and sis you've given me the confidence to be myself even if its totally goofy and lame; you are the best reason why I stay in check, and grandma you've given me a great opportunity and an example of a woman of Christ.
So I'll do my best to keep everyone posted as I continue on this journey. Thanks again. Cau :later (the extent of my Slovak)
