My next adventure from Macedonia was to Bulgaria with a Missionary couple (I’ll call them Mr. and Mrs. M) and their 4 little girls. The girls were between the ages of 12 and 6 and act just like sisters so I was a little worried about being crammed into a van for a 7-hour drive to their house in Sophia, Bulgaria. However, the girls were very pleasant. While watching the girls interact I thought I used to be that young arguing with my sis about things like, “I wanna listen to Dinosaur Stomp cd… well I don’t. I want Sunshine Mix…. Mom she got to listen to her cd last time… no I didn’t…. mom… moooooooooom….” Then I thought, wait, me and my sis still do that now. I had to give credit to those girls for being missionary kids, and having to grow up in a country where they don’t quite fit in. Not that growing up in America guarantees that you will fit in.
As we crossed the Macedonia-Bulgaria border I saw men riding carriages carrying hay, an old women guiding her sheep down the road, and a tractor causing a road block. It was all so simple, yet so beautiful. Bulgaria looked very similar to Northern California with its long stretch of rolling hills and trees covering them with their autumn colors.
About 7 hours later we arrived at the missionaries’ house tired and hungry. I met Simone (my boss) there and we started to layout the week ahead and decide what we wanted to accomplish. There were a lot of people to interview at many different locations.
The next day we went to Stubel, a small village, to interview a woman who had started a church there. It was amazing to listen to her story. Most people told her starting a church in the village could not be done, but she continued to gather believers and form a church. The next person we interviewed was a pastor of a church in another town who had an interesting story as well. He told us that while his church was being established there was a man who lived near by that constantly complained about the church to the authorities and wanted it to be shut down. The authorities caused some problems for the church, but did not really have a good enough reason to intervene. Well the next week the man was gathering signatures from local residence to have the church shut down and while he was walking by the steps of the church he had a heart attack and died. It was no surprise that the church no longer faced any conflict from the town’s citizens.
Me and Simone with a nice couple I randomly met when I was taking pictures near their home.
The next day we traveled to Vidrare to interview the principal of a school. The school was created for children in the local villages whose parents couldn’t afford for them to travel to school every week. The students live at the school during the week and go home on the weekend. The principal was having a hard time getting the children to behave. Then one of the Bulgaria missionaries intervened and started a bible study for the students. The children’s attitudes started to improve, so much that the parents noticed and then started their own bible study. When we arrived in a classroom all the students would stand to welcome us. I was incredibly impressed with how respectful and well behaved the students were. During the lunch break the younger children just latched on to Simone and I and wanted to play all day. They did not care that we could not speak the same language; they just wanted to feel loved. The children were amazing. Some were really shy; some were always posing for the camera, but most were smiling. It was unusual to see students without cell phones or ipods, but instead playing games and having a great time.
On the way home from Vidrare I noticed many families whose homes did not have much of a roof. Some houses looked like a Jenga structure that was only one block from crumbling. However, no matter how bleak these houses looked every time we passed someone they would always look up and smile. It made me feel so selfish and foolish for ever complaining about not having central cooling during the Redding summers or minor discomforts like that.
When I first arrived in Bulgaria it took a day to soak in the newness, and fight the vulnerable feeling inside that told me home is better. This was a feeling I get every time I travel. It usually takes a couple days of being immersed in the culture to get to the point where I do not what to leave. I was now at that point. I became so intrigued by Bulgaria that I wanted to learn more about the foreign land that I was in and the people that make it so unique to me. Time was going by so fast and I didn’t want to go “home”.
On the way back from our trip today Mrs. M started to talk about the orphanage where she worked. In the orphanage she works with the children to um… well just love them the way they should have been loved by their parents. As she described her job I couldn’t fathom doing what she does because of the heartbreak she endures every time she looks at the children’s face. I was not taken aback because the children are orphans as surprising as that sounds I am awestruck with what happens to the children at night when the lights go off. She told us that it is overt knowledge that the security guards of the orphanage are paid off to let men into the orphanage to rape the children. It is hard to even write this now let alone the feelings I had when I heard this. Mrs. M said that because of the corruption there is nothing that she can do. No one cares about orphans. I couldn’t and still can’t believe that this kind of evil is still so prevalent in the world today. Where are the authorities? This reminded me of the homeless boys in Ukraine. Now I know why those boys refuse to stay in the homes that the police try to stick them in. I would much rather be homeless and face the cold and starvation than be subjected to that kind of torture. I was filled with so much rage knowing that this can happen. I don’t know how she can have the strength to walk into that orphanage and try to convince those children that they are loved when the night before some disgusting evil “security” guard allowed them to be sexually abused. How can those children ever have a chance at a normal life or ever feeling of value? With all the missionaries we have and activists who are trying to change the world, I wondered what are they doing? How can they miss this? A main focus of the church is to bring God to people and convert people to Christianity, but I don’t think that was Jesus’ main goal. I think he would have cared more about saving the broken and battered children than planting more churches. I just don’t get it. What are we doing? What am I doing? I wish there was a way I could sneak into the orphanage and document the evil doings so I’d have evidence and those people would go to jail and get the same treatment or worse that they gave to those children. I didn’t and don’t like being filled with so much hate and anger, but they are so helpless and I feel helpless.
After I heard about these heartbreaking atrocities my heart and spirit felt heavy. Now every time I pray I think of those children and I become overwhelmed with sadness. I guess I always knew that there was evil in the world and children were mistreated like from those infomercials about adopt-a-child in Africa. You know the commercials that most hate to see and would rather change the channel than challenge their heart. While living in the California bubble I sheltered my thoughts from wandering far enough to think of all the suffering that occurs every day. Now that I know what goes on I can never go back to my blissful ignorance. These thoughts will stay with me forever.
I don’t even feel like continuing to write about the rest of the trip because I don’t want to take attention away from that experience. So I’ll end with I’ve been so impressed with the people I’ve met that have so little yet dedicate so much. This experience has stretched, humbled, and inspired me more than I could have ever imagined. Even though, my heart is heavier now that it ever has been I feel blessed to carry this burden of knowledge and an aching to impact this world the way it has impacted me.
So as I sat on a plane in Slovenia getting ready to fly to Macedonia I thought, this is my favorite part of my job, going somewhere totally new and not knowing what to expect. When I arrived in Macedonia I was surprised how much it reminded me of Slovakia. Even the layout of the airport felt familiar. I was in Macedonia for the Southeastern Europe Field Conference in order to interview people from all over the region while they were all collected in the same place. The Southeastern Europe region is made up of 12 countries: Macedonia, Bulgaria, Slovenia, Romania, Greece, Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia, Albania, Kosovo, Herzegovina, and Croatia.
Everyone we interviewed that week had a good story to tell, but there were a few that really captured my attention. For example, we interviewed people that had come from a Muslim background and they still had not told their families that they converted to Christianity out of fear of shaming their family or being disowned. I cannot fathom my family disowning me for anything I had done or could do. Losing my family would not just mean there are 3 less people in my life, but it’s like losing my history, security, friends, love, and identity. My family helped shape who I am. When I heard some of these stories I felt fortunate to have a family that loves me no matter how different our opinions may be. Those who accept Christianity knowing the consequences inspire me. It made me wonder what price would I pay for my faith? Could I give up my family to follow Jesus?
Other than our interviews, most of the time at the conference was spent in seminars. I enjoyed some of the seminars, but I preferred the time spent getting to know people. At the end of the conference there was a unique moment during the talent show when each country representatives sang a folklore or their national anthem. Romania sang their national anthem, which was adopted when they formed their independence from communist rule in 1989. It was strange to think of communism, as something so real when before it seemed so distant and foreign. The Romanians were so proud to be able to sing their national anthem. It was quite amazing to hear about the turmoil that some of these countries have faced and are still facing.
I listened to one of the Kosovo believers talk about the struggle of not being recognized as a country. My ignorance of this big world continues to amaze me. We continued our conversation as we went into the city of Strumica to get some b-roll footage (alternate footage that intercut with the main shot in an interview or documentary. For example, if the interviewee says I love PB&J sandwiches and then there was a separate shot of PB&J sandwiches that would be the b-roll footage). One Kosovo guy I talked to was an English major and also had started a Political Science degree. He told me that he hopes to work for the Kosovo Embassy one day. I foolishly asked him if he wanted to leave Kosovo and live in a more, well, stable country. He said he loves and respects his country and wants it to prosper and that is why he wants to work for the UN, in order to serve Kosovo and help make a difference in his country. I was fascinated with the respect he and the other Kosovars had for their country. I believe that too many times people complain about their country, but never make any effort to change anything. I wondered if due to Kosovo’s recent struggle for independence is why they had such national pride. I found that to be very admirable.
At the end of the conference I was glad to be getting out of the hotel and going to Bulgaria, but sad to leave these amazing people I had just met. Everywhere I have gone and everyone I have me seem to affect my life in a way that I will never be able to recover from. For that I am thankful.
Since I’ve gotten back from Ukraine I have moved into my own apartment, taken German lessons, and became more acquainted with my new home, Büsingen. So a little about Büsingen, it is a small German village (yes village, of 2.9 sq miles) inside Switzerland. It has about 1,400 people, but most people live up in the farmlands, so it feels even smaller. I’ve encountered only around 200 of the residents. The closest store is across the German border 6 miles away and it closes at 8pm and isn’t open on Sundays.
It has been quite a transition from Orange County, where there is a Starbucks on every corner, and grocery stores that are open 24/7. The slow pace of the village is difficult for me because I’m the kind of person who loves being busy. I try to cram everything I can into one day. If I have 20 minutes between activities I’ll find something to do and I love multitasking. For example, when I brush my teeth, there are 2 minutes I could be doing something else because I need only one hand for brushing so I’ll start to make my lunch or check my email. Since being in Büsingen I have had time to do the things I’ve always wanted or planned on doing. For example, I never knew how to cook. I thought it was because I didn’t like it, but it is really because it takes so long. Before, I would plan on making dinner around 7pm then I would get caught up doing something, then many things, and then around 10pm I’m starving and can’t wait to fix something so I would just eat cereal. Well I’ll just say that since I’ve moved here that I’ve learned to cook… pretty well. I know that some people would love to have more free time on their hands, but I’m not one of them. One weekend I painted everything in my room, my bed, mirrors, and bookshelf. I even have had time to catch up on my reading. Some of my recommendations are The Kite Flyer, Tractors in Ukrainian, The Time Traveler’s Wife, The Secret Life of Bees, and The Shack. If you recommend any books or movies let me know because I don’t watch T.V. so I don’t know about anything new in the media.
Nevertheless, as crazy as I might get in this little village, it is still a wonderful place to live.
There were 3 ministry teams that were assigned to three different locations: Berezhna Volya, a tiny village, Odessa, a big international city, and Koziatyn, something in between. I was put in the Odessa team, Steve was on the Koziatyn team, and Simone was on the Berezhna Volya team.
I was wondering about the different personalities of my teammates but we all seem to get along great. There were 3 of us from California, Donabel, Kaitlyn, and I; one girl from Oregon, Ree; 3 kids from Kiev, Ukraine, Sasha, Anya, and Andrey; one guy from India, Amitava, and Tim from Ireland.
I really enjoyed everyone on my team. A key factor for me is being able to open up and laugh a lot. With this team we all feel comfortable joking with each other, which I think breaks down barriers easier than anything else. Maybe this is just my opinion though. The 12 hr. train ride was insane do to the heat of the train and the cramped space and limited sleep. When we got off the train at 6am were sweaty and miserable.
Not too long after we met our host, Natalia, she informed Tim, our leader, that he would be speaking at church that afternoon. Judging by the expression on Tim's face he was unaware of this. We all give Tim a look of sympathy. However, I had just learned from the bonding we did on the train ride, that Tim is the Eurasia Regional Nazarene Youth International President and our voice for the Global Nazarene Youth Council. So he was responsible for putting together the conference that we had just attended. I had no idea that he was behind it all. What surprised me even more is that he is only 23 years old. After knowing this, I was less worried about him having to do a short notice sermon than I would about me having to do it. After a couple more hours of sleep and some breakfast the sermon went smoothly.
After church, we took the rest of the day to go over the plans for the week. Then that night we took a night tour of Odessa. As we headed down to the pier, I was allured by some classical music being performed by a band on a dinner boat. As I sat to listen I thought wow, its moments like these that makes life so interesting. How did we end up listening to this music on a pier in Odessa, Ukraine? Life is unexplainable. That’s one thing I love about it. How did I go from working 2 jobs in Redding, Ca to a cinematographer for World Missions doing a job in Ukraine?
The next day we took a tour around the city and then a boat tour. Our hosts wanted to make sure that we were having a memorable time, which was fantastic, but the team and I were starting to feel a little guilty about not doing much mission work yet. I wondered what Simone and Steve were up to and if they were getting some good stories? I hoped I could get some good footage out of this trip. I had not been given a story to shoot, but instead I was looking for a story amongst my team and my mission. My specialty isn't necessarily finding stories so I was a little nervous about finding something worth documenting. However, it can be quite frustrating investing so much time into something and having nothing come of it, but no matter what I had to try. I hope that my documentaries can make a difference some day. If it only motivates one person to help those in need then isn’t that enough?
When we went to the aids center I did my best to prepare myself for the people I would see. I did my best to smile and interact… well as much as I could because of the language barrier. I could have gone in and tried to sympathize and cry for them, but I did not think that is what they needed. If I were in their situation, I would not want sympathy, but a friendly smile and see that people care. It was afterward, when we started to pray with the priest, that I allowed the sadness to over take me. The priest, Alexander, anointed our heads with oil, and we left for home. We were not able to stay long because we were only allowed in each room for 10 minutes and also not everyone wanted visitors. I felt like we didn’t spend a lot of time doing mission work because everything we did was cut short. I wondered, are we wasting too much time? Is there some reason we are always in the house? Is there some need that we are not fulfilling?
Later that day, I was glad when I found out that we would split up to do other activities. One group went to the park to play around and hang out with other kids, but no kids joined in. Then one group went to a 93 year old lady’s apartment named Rita. I visited with her for a short while before I headed with Natalia to check in on the homeless boys that Natalia tries to looks after. One of her usual rides was able to take us. It was supposed to be a quick ride. Well a quick ride to death. Not only were his stops abrupt, but also he drove on the wrong side of the road. I could write a whole page about his awful driving but rather to the important things. I was doing my best to be friendly and not looked surprised when I arrived to see the homeless boys. When I saw small children living in an alleyway without any parents, proper clothes, and were totally filthy, it was hard to keep a smile on my face. One of the kids who didn’t look any older than 10 was high, most likely from sniffing glue. One of the kids looked at me with amazement. I wonder how does a homeless child find a way out of the street and into normal life? He can’t get a job. He can’t take out a loan. He can’t go on welfare. And, from what we were told, they hate the orphanages that the police try to put them in. They said that living on the street is 20 times better than staying with the group homes. I can’t even imagine how awful those places must be considering the trash and emptiness they are living in right now.
Natalia told the boys that we would be back tomorrow around 12 so they should bring their friends if they want any food or clothing. Natalia wanted me to film the boys and I think they won’t mind because they know that she is getting them food. If I were them I wouldn’t want to be filmed. However, as much as I hate it, it is my job. I am supposed to be documenting the troubles of the world in order to raise awareness to the needs that as Christians we should partake in helping. I cringed when I filmed them though. I just wanted to close my eyes and disappear. I learned that many people have filmed them and then used the footage for their own gain and profit, without doing anything to help them. It made me sick inside. How can children end up like this? I just don’t understand. Where are their parents? Where are their relatives? Where are the government agencies that are supposed to be taking care of these children? Who can be more important than children? They are helpless, and the worst is that it is not their fault…. And they can’t do anything to help themselves. What do you tell a 9-year-old living on the street to do in order to better his or her situation? Hmmm… I just realized that there were not any girls. Why aren’t their any girls? Maybe the girls prefer to be in the group homes… maybe the girls are taken as sex slaves so they are more at risk on the street? That’s another terrible thought I can’t add to my burdened brain right now. I recently learned from one of seminars during NYC that Ukraine is leading in numbers of human trafficking in Eastern Europe. Over 117, 000 Ukrainians each year are human trafficked. Below I have included a link to a human trafficking awareness video. We watched this video at NYC, but I must warn you it is disturbing and graphic. Here
Also, for more information visit this website Here
Okay that was a sidetrack, but something very important as well.
After we grabbed the boys some meals from Mc Donald’s we headed back to the house. The rest of the way back I was extremely depressed about the boys I had just met and very annoyed with this careless greedy driver that didn’t even take a second look at the boys as he asked for 20 more greivas for his ride… He looked, smelled, and drove like a greedy slimeball. Nonetheless, I keep fighting tears as I looked out the window to this broken city. I had never seen homeless children before and I didn't know what to do with my feelings. I wanted to let the world know that these kids need help. Then there was this nagging cynicism that kept telling me, “I know you won’t do anything. You’ll just forget about these kids as soon as you get home.” I started to believe this voice. I’m just as selfish as our driver. I sunk further into depression. It was hard for me to hold it together throughout the night. I secretly wanted to tell someone but not sure who I could trust with my feelings and I don’t feel comfortable crying in front of anyone here. I still find crying to be a weakness and hate how it makes me feel. Like always, I kept it in. When Donabel asks how it went I just told her that it was tough and hugged her. I stayed pretty somber throughout the night.
When we visited the kids the next day it wasn’t as tough. I felt selfish and less human when I consciously forgot the nail clippers for the kids. I was totally thinking, I have such a nice set and they might get ruined. Why can’t I be different? It’s just stupid nail clippers. Luckily we had scissors if we really needed them, but it didn’t help how I felt. But I don’t think the kid with the bad nails showed up. Doesn’t matter though. I still felt awful. I’m going to work on that. It’s amazing how quickly you can become desensitized. We picked up most of the garbage surrounding their home. Most of it was Mc Donald’s wrappers and soda bottles. I don’t know if it was from food they have received or if its been taken out of the garbage, probably a little bit of both. Natalia wanted me to film instead of pick up trash. I got used to filming. I didn't have to cringe as much and it helps that I can include my team in the shots.
How would I feel if someone was filming me? However, if they also brought food when I was starving I think I would care a lot less. So we fed the boys some sandwiches that our wonderful cook Luba had made and some less than par chocolate chip cookies slash cake that we made. Then the guys kicked the soccer ball around while I tossed the Frisbee around with a few people on the team. It felt good to be active and sweat. One of the homeless boys, Sergey, looked ill and said he felt very sick. Natalia and Peter, the local Nazarene pastor, took Sergey to the hospital. We later found out that he had pneumonia and could have died if he wasn't brought in. He is only 17 years old.
The next day we visited Sergey in the hospital. He looked a lot better and said he felt tremendously better. He told us that this made him realize that he needs to get off the street and is planning on moving to his aunts but has to wait for a visa first, which can take months. He said that he wants to go to engineering school. I don't know why this came as a surprise. I guess because I just thought that these kids don't really have goals, but they do. These kids want to get out of their situation, but they just don't have the means to do so. I'm glad that we were able to take this boy to the hospital and show him that we care. I have quite a bit of footage of the mission work we have been doing but nothing to tie it all together. Except for that night....
We stayed at the house of a woman named Natalia and in an hour I cried and laughed and felt a glimpse of her pain. I think I’ve found my story. Since I had arrived in her home she had been most hospitable, but quite forceful. She is obviously a strong woman and I feared to be on her bad side. She does not take any crap and demands respect, which I learned to give most willingly. What I learned is that she has endured a tough life and given up many luxuries to provide for her family and others. She has good stories and did not mind to sharing. Her personality and religious practices are very different from mine, which fascinated me. I told her that I work for the Eurasia regional office in the communication department and that I’m trying to find a story for World Mission and told her that I would like to interview her. She was willing, but said that she has nothing to do with her stories, when in fact the stories are nothing without her.
She had traveled a lot due to the fact her father was a Christian pastor and a Jew, therefore the victim of persecution. She did not talk much about her background, but instead she delved in to her greatest story, her daughter. She has 4 boys and 2 daughters. She lost a daughter 5 months ago in a car accident. Her daughter’s pictures are throughout the house as a reminder of her and her memories. Her wound is still so fresh that I cannot mention her name without tears welling up in her eyes. The thought of losing a sister is too unbearable to think about let alone experience and losing a daughter is more misery than I hope I’ll ever know. She told me her story and tears started to flow as she said that her daughter is her own best testimony. She started off her story by mentioning, that she has seen the Passion of the Christ 12 times. I’m not sure if she was exaggerating because it did not seem like her forte. After she watched the scene where both Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene cleaned up Jesus blood after He was crucified, Natalia prayed that she would know his pain, and that she could feel as he felt.
On March 15, Natalia had to take care of her mother-in-law and asked her daughter to go to a convention to speak in her place. Even though her daughter was ill and others advised her not to go, she wanted to fulfill her mother’s wishes, and went ahead to the convention. She made a lasting impact on those she talked with and met there, and it would be the last people she had contact with. On the way home from the convention everyone in the car including the driver fell asleep. The car crashed into an oncoming car and the driver and the other passenger survived with a few scrapes whereas her daughter was killed instantly. As she told her story this stern, fearless woman becomes a gentle hurt child asking for Jesus’ forgiveness for her foolish prayer. She feels sick, and to blame for the loss of her daughter. It was her that prayed to feel Jesus pain; it was her that asked her daughter to fill her place; it was her that was not there. It was her fault. How can I convince this woman that she is not to blame? Does any one else blame her? Would I blame her? But how could I blame her any more than I could blame the mother-in-law that she was aiding.
It was at this time that the strangest thing happened to me. I had started to feel light-headed and had to stop the interview because I thought that I was going to get sick. Luckily, I didn't, but I was still sweating profusely, and I was cold, and pale. Natalia was worried, and so was I. This had never happened to me before. After 20 min the nausea subsided and I continued with the interview. I cannot explain what happened but I know it wasn't going to prevent me from getting this interview. Back on track...
Natalia continued to describe her daughter as though she was talking about an angel. She was the type of person you would tell your deepest frightful secrets to. Someone who would meet you at your level, if you were a small child she would crawl on her knees or for an old woman she listen patiently to intrinsic stories. She loved everyone as though if she did not love them no one else would. She invested her life into others. So why? Why are they the ones that are taken?
I cannot help but to have a little cynicism enter into my brain. I know that when someone dies we can tend to glorify them. If we were to describe them while they were alive we might say, oh they are great and nice, but once they die they become angelic, wonderful, and like no other. I know that is horrible to say, but its true. I guess it’s just a way to honor them. There is no need to remember their faults, weaknesses, but are they really as amazing as described. If so, why is it that God always seems to take the best people? It is as if He sends us angels to give us a glimpse of Heaven, but then selfishly takes them away so we will never take them for granted. No matter what the reason is I still had tears in my eyes as she described her angel on earth who God took back to heaven.
How is it that it is the family who dedicates their life to serve God and others always seem to be the one that are “punished”? Why would anyone want to sign up for that? Believe in God and your life will have devastation and sorrow beyond belief. However, I am glad for people like Natalia.
When the week was over I was sad to leave. I had grown so close to everyone and had a special place for Ukraine in my heart. At that point I had spent more time in Ukraine than I had in any other country including my new home in Switzerland. In Ukraine, I learned some of the history of the country, understood the people better, could find my way around Kiev and Odessa, two of the biggest cities, and spoke more Russian than German. I couldn’t look forward to going home cause Ukraine was my new home. Nonetheless, our journey was over and we took the steamy train back to Kiev to have a debriefing before we all parted our ways. As we all shared our thoughts and feelings it was amazing how everyone took something different and unique from our trip.
On the plane ride home I was going over the past few weeks and the incredible experience I had. However, then I also thought of the homeless boys that I had left behind. Its not fare that I can just hop on plane and head home while they are living in an alley scrounging for food. I don’t want to just forget about them like most people do once they get to the airport. Yet I am conflicted… what can I do? It’s nice and thoughtful to feed them for a day, but then what? When I am at home several countries away, what can I do?
Last month I was in Kiev, Ukraine for NYC (Nazarene Youth Conference). Life has taken a definite turn on me since a year ago when I was living in Redding, Ca after graduating college. My experience so far in Europe has been life altering. Since I’ve been working with my communication team, I’ve realized how lucky I am to be here. I was a little hesitant about going to Ukraine for 3 weeks to a youth conference I knew nothing about. Well I guess I should fill you in. NYC occurs every four years, where youth come from around the world come and learn more about being a Christian leader, and learn more about the other cultures with the experiences and friendships they make with other youth around the globe. There are 300 youth, youth leaders, and youth pastors that attended this event. I was also apart of the prep team so I arrived a few days early. When I got off the plane in Kiev, Ukraine Steve, my coworker found me and we quickly found our ride and headed to the church where we would crash for the first night before heading to the camp. In the church there is a room with a bunch of people on mattresses laid out on the floor. I was glad that I had brought a blanket to lay on top. I met a few strangers, some I would end up spending the next 3 weeks with.
After lying out my mattress, I finally took a moment to breathe. Then we were already getting ready to go to dinner. I saw Drew and Chelsey, the married couple I met in Mainz, Germany, an American pastor and wife that I enjoy. They are young, real, and dynamic. I thought we were only going for dinner, but we ended up doing some sightseeing in Kiev, which left me in slump cause I did not bring my camera. I feel like a bad photographer and do not bring my camera.
I was definitely glad I was working cause it kept me busy and gave me an excuse to move around and meet people but also hide behind the camera when I was feeling overwhelmed. The next day we did some set up and helped with registration. So far I haven’t experienced anything I could not handle. Well, till I ate in the cafeteria. Everything was so oily and uhhh I can’t describe it. It was not bad food as much as it was weirdly put together. There was a lot of potatoes and bread. There was mayonnaise that came with everything even at breakfast, which also included potatoes (right now I’m on a potato fast) and some kind of flesh colored meat. There was also an interesting tea that had a small shriveled substance in it that resembled an animal brain. It reminded me of Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom when everyone was served strange exotic foods including monkey brains. Later I found out it was just dried fruit. As frightening as some of the food looked I wanted to be adventurous so I made sure I tried everything. There were only a few things that were a too adventurous for my taste buds.
The morning seminar where we had to record the audio and we played the videos we had worked long nights to finish. It was rewarding to see the films we created put to use. We put so much work into them, well for the short amount of time we had. Then we had family groups where groups of about 8-10 meet and discuss the topic of the day.
At 6:30 we had dinner then another seminar. By the end of the last one my brain hurt, and it was 11:30 when we finally left from a team meeting. I was spent. The next day we went into Kiev for sightseeing. When I was alone I saw an old woman selling flowers. I felt this overwhelming urge to give her money. I had never done this before and I tried to drown out the voice. I passed by her but I turned around. I briskly walked up to her, I didn't say a word and hand her 20 grivnas, Ukrainian currency. This wasn’t more than 5 bucks, but it was definitely still hard for me because it felt really weird. Well I felt totally awkward giving it to her that I didn’t say anything and walked away. I didn't think this was the right way to do this but I didn’t know what else to do. I wish I could have said something. Maybe she wasn’t even in need and was insulted that I thought she was. Not sure, but the feeling bothered me all day, I don’t know why. I kept to myself most of the day afterward. I don’t know what I felt. During that time I felt surrounded by people but totally alone. I hadn’t any time to myself and I felt alone.
The week continued along in the same structure as the first day, morning sermon, small group, another seminar, lunch, afternoon seminar, dinner, and sermon. I enjoyed some of the sermons, but I think that the best part of the conference was the people I met and the conversations I had. Also, one night we had a reenactment of a persecuted church. Everyone had to enter silently, and be checked at the door, most the lights were turned off, men and women had to sit on opposite sides of the room, and musical instruments and bibles were not allowed. It was an amazing and intense experience. I could not believe that this is what people go through in order to meet and worship God. A man that attends a persecuted church knew a pastor who had his tongue cut off for preaching the Gospel. The whole experience gave me chills, sadness, yet admiration for those who risk their lives to worship God. Afterward, there was a map of Europe and CIS region drawn on the pavement outside. Everyone received a candle that they placed in their region. California didn’t have its own region so I made one. It was interesting to see how much the map glowed when we all put down our candles. It’s fascinating that even though everyone comes from different parts of the world that in some way we are all connected.
Throughout the week I had interviewed people asking them about their personal experiences. Also, we had a theme of the conference: What is the Kingdom of God like? So we edited together peoples thoughts and responses and played the video during the last service. I was also in charge of taking pictures throughout the conference, which is available here!
One of the last days in Kiev a small group of us went back into the city for some more sightseeing. A missionary named, Bob, who had been living in Ukraine for about 10 years took a group of us to a Ukraine WWII memorial. I’ve never been to a memorial that displayed so much pain in the artifacts. Everything felt so real about the exhibit and recent as if it had just happened last year. There were thousands of pix of people who died in the war, which didn’t come close to the nearly 30,000,000 Ukrainians that were killed in the war. I felt ashamed to be so ignorant in the matter. In the museum there were artifacts of weapons, broken planes, letters, and other memorabilia. The most heart-wrenching artifacts that I saw were ankle cuffs for children and gloves made out of human flesh. I don’t understand how so many people can share such inhumane cruelty. I can understand one crazy mass murderer than I can a whole nation believing that what they are doing is right and just. There was also video footage being played of the Nazis killing men lined up in a row and shoving women and children into concentration camps. The most disturbing scene was a man with a bulldozer shoving thousands of bodies into a canal. After leaving the memorial I think I had a better understanding for the Ukraine people. I now know why they used to train kids in school to shoot weapons because as a nation they never want to lose 30,000,000 people again. I just can’t imagine that. After we left the memorial I stuck around with Bob to learn more about the history of Ukraine since I was now fascinated with the country. When we headed back to the camp I had a different view of Ukraine life and people and treated my experience with a lot more grace and humbleness.
I was quite reserved about being in Ukraine and the conference but by the end of the NYC I was sad that it was over and to see everyone go. I hope to see everyone some time again in the future, but I know that the possibilities are slim. I’m actually not bad with goodbyes. I treasure the time I spend with people, so I usually tell myself there is no reason to get sad and sentimental. I had created some good friends and memorable experiences. Now that is just the first half of my Ukraine experience.
I arrived in Mainz on Wed. night with all my luggage packed for a year stay. I struggled to get off the bus to make it to the hotel when luckily a bunch of Americans that worked on the project I was documenting helped me carry my luggage to the hotel. So in the first 2 minutes of my arrival I already knew I was in the right place.
Well I guess I should start by stating why I was in Mainz. A team of Germans planted a church in Mainz, Germany and our team documented the kick off week of their church. The church is called KIA (Kirche In Action) and it is a part of Project Noah, which plans to plant churches along the Rhine river. So far Mainz is the first church planted in this project. To kick off KIA there was what was called, "First Supper", a service that happened every night from Tue. till Sun. The evening event was held in a large tent set in the city center where anyone could come and eat for free, worship, listen to the sermon, and enjoy conversation with the witness teams. There was also a mission corp., Engedi, which sends over youth mission teams from the U.S. to help with the planning and preparation. These mission teams were spread throughout the city either giving "Jesus Treats" (cookies) to city offices, or picking up garbage in the swamp and around the city.
The church is made up of a mostly younger crowd with the average age around 22-26, including the pastor. People have committed 1 year or up to 5 years of their life to the KIA church and their dedication was inspiring. The KIA team, through funding and loans, was able to buy a run down hotel for their volunteers to live in. After the kick off KIA had their first service in the bar section of a movie theater. KIA was also trying to start a coffee shop where anyone can come and hang out, enjoy conversation, and fellowship.
Throughout the week it was amazing to see people coming from all areas into a tent to share food with people they've never met. There were many stories of people who came in and were overwhelmed with the love and compassion that they came back every night and even wanted to hang out after dinner.
When I arrived on this mission in Mainz it was the first time I had met my own team, Simone (boss), Steve (partner), both in 20s and from California. Small world. I started off disconnected and just doing my job. I used the camera as a way to distance myself from others in order to avoid conversation and interaction, but that didn't last. After I interviewed the pastor (Philip) for the documentary, he then questioned me. He asked me if I was encouraged. It is amazing how pastors sometime can catch you off guard with their to the heart questions. After I caught my breath from the intensity of the question I thought, hmmmm... well I had tried to just do my job and not interact and realized that it was impossible. However, I was glad that I failed at my task. I responded to Philip, "yes I'm encouraged". I was encouraged by the people involved in this mission. What these people were doing was amazing. What else was fantastic is that they were all so young with such big dreams, humble attitudes, and spiritual maturity.
Before I had arrived on Wed. I was nervous and apprehensive about volunteering for a non-profit that I knew nothing about. By the time I left Mainz I was convinced that this is where God wanted me to be.
Well, when we got to Buesingen, my new home, we had 4 videos that needed to be shot and edited for the National Youth Conference in Kiev, Ukraine. So in the past 3 days we have put out 14 hour days in order to finish. We leave for Kiev on July 31st and will be there for 3 weeks filming for the convention and mission trips.
So far that is a lot of info for only have arrived 10 days ago. I'll keep you all posted.
Wow, so right now I am in Slovakia. It feels weird just to write it. So far I haven't experienced too much culture shock, but at times there is this uneasiness that comes over me, like "What am I doing here?", "This is crazy!". Luckily the wave of anxiousness doesn't last too long before I'm ready for the next adventure. Oh and what an adventure this has been and will be. I couldn't have done this if it wasn't for everyone who supported me, financially, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. So thanks to everyone who has been a part of this adventure with me. Of course a special thanks goes out to Steve and Jo Campbell for setting me up with the job and helping me raise support. The greatest thanks to my family for instilling in me a passion to follow God and my dreams. Mom you given me the drive to do what I love no matter what, dad you have given me the strive for adventure and broadening my mind, and sis you've given me the confidence to be myself even if its totally goofy and lame; you are the best reason why I stay in check, and grandma you've given me a great opportunity and an example of a woman of Christ.
So I'll do my best to keep everyone posted as I continue on this journey. Thanks again. Cau :later (the extent of my Slovak)
