Bangladesh

Bangladesh… Where do I start? After 21 hours of traveling, we left the Dhaka airport and stepped outside into the bright sun and sauna of South Asia. The heat wasn’t overwhelming but the humidity added a level of discomfort that I knew I needed to get used to, if at all possible. We met our host, Vanu, and were escorted to the regional office to meet the district superintendent and the rest of the team. After we all got acquainted, we took a nap to recharge our depleted selves, but after 24 hours without sleep, a 2 hour tease ended up doing more damage than good. Nonetheless, we went over everything we would do that week. It was then I discovered how intense this trip was going to be. We had multiple reasons to go on this trip; we were getting footage for a video about the Jesus Film ministry and a video about church planting along with some testimonies from people affected and/or involved in either.

We drove into the city center to get some b-roll (supplemental footage that is intercut with the main footage in an interview or documentary) and I soon discovered the art and craft of driving in South Asia. Basically, if there was space you drove, if not you still drove and honked to let others know you are coming. This type of driving would never work in America since most Bangladeshis don’t have insurance; everyone is at a loss if there is an accident. There is a mutual respect because both drivers know that there will be no point in blaming because no authority will come to solve the matter. Also, the unceasing honking isn’t done out of anger or frustration as much as a preliminary caution and notification. There are traffic lights and road lanes but they must have been installed to humor foreigners, but the Bangladeshis are the only ones laughing as most newcomers sit in the back seat, white-knuckled, braced for an inevitable accident. I believed that with the precision and split second decision-making, that South Asian drivers are the best drivers in the world. I wondered how they would do on the racetrack. Maybe this place could be the new training grounds for NASCAR or stunt driving. I wasn’t afraid of this style of driving, but intrigued. I felt like I was on a Disneyland ride like Indiana Jones, but instead of a huge stones rolling down, it was oncoming cars in your lane, or rickshaws carrying stacks of hay. We stopped to look at the parliament, which had one of the most fascinating architectures I’ve ever seen, especially for a government building. It was remarkably geometric with huge triangle shaped windows and the residents apartments were zigzagged in and out along the Buriganga river.

Our next stop gave me an insight on how my experience with the locals was going to be on the rest of my trip. I was worried that I was going to stand out and it was recommended that maybe I should dye my hair. I quickly realized that there is nothing wrong with being different and the people I encountered were politely intrigued. I received lots of stares, none were menacing, but merely curious. We went into a market and I never know how people are going to react to me taking pictures so I always try to be aware and sensitive of my surroundings and people’s reactions. Well I quickly learned that Bangladeshis love to have their pictures taken. Not just kids, but adults would ask me to take a picture of them or their friends and then show it to everyone afterward. It was great to have everyone excited that we were there and I didn’t get the usual eye-roll of “tourists”. However, being a novelty made it hard to leave without being followed by a bunch of kids out to the van as they all pushed and shoved to get their faces in line with the lens of my camera. We left back for the center and I was excited for these upcoming weeks. All the friendly faces and welcoming people had given me a new motivation and passion to capture the openness and loveliness that I had just witnessed.

That night I enjoyed a room to myself with refreshing air-conditioning and a bathtub. I was grateful yet tormented by these luxuries, as I would not experience them again until much later. That morning I was awakened by a knock on my door at 5am, but when I opened it no one was there. Later I heard another tap, but I realized that it wasn’t coming from the door but the window of my four-story room. I opened my windows and couldn’t find what annoying bird was interrupting my much longed for slumber. Whatever it was (I loathed its existence) persisted until I finally gave up on any more precious sleep. I later discovered that the high-pitched tap on glass sound wasn’t coming from outside my room but inside from a little dig-diggi (lizard). The cute little lizard I had welcomed into my room last night to eat all the bugs was making me pay the price for his labor. Later that week, I would have endured all the screeching from a 100 dig-diggi if they provided me with the service I needed, exterminator.

We hit the road that morning with a long 6 hour journey ahead of us to the north of Bangladesh (opposite directions of the tigers) where most of the ministry centers are set up. We stopped for dinner and I had the spiciest curry I’ve ever experienced. My lips never felt such rage. Well I guess as expected, I woke up during the night with my first South Asian sickness. During my sickness, the electricity went out which means not only the lights are off but also the fan. So Simone and I laid in our beds with sweat starting to gather like a small silhouette on our sheets. The mugginess made it so hard to breath that we decided to open the window and face the bugs that may wander our way. It seemed like the lesser of two evils at the time. Well my sickness continued through the night and as I used my phone as a light to guide me, I noticed the time and date 2am on the 23rd of April and thought, “It is my birthday. So God why am I here suffering in Bangladesh in this village on a day that should be spent with family and friends? I hope that what I do makes a difference. I hope this is worth it.” At that same moment, I realized that it was worth it. I thought about my last birthday and couldn’t really remember much about it; not what I did, who was there, or the gifts I received. I knew that I would remember this birthday. It was then that I thanked God for this amazing opportunity and that I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else; maybe in better physical condition, but I was where I wanted to be, out in the world trying to make a difference.

That morning I was still sick, but now with 30 bug bites just on one leg. Where are you dig-diggi?


Due to my condition, I stayed behind on the first outing and went back to bed until the electricity went off again. When I got up I felt much better so I decided to just explore. I didn’t get far because out the front door I met 2 little girls that were living at the ministry center. I took an immediate liking to them and based on the rest of the afternoon I guessed they did the same. We took pictures of each other, played with play-doh, colored, danced, and let them do my hair. When the rest of the team returned at lunchtime, I had a bindi (South Asian forehead decoration, not to be confused with a tilaka, hindu marking) dot on my forehead and my hair was done up in two very high pokeman like pigtails. The girls squealed in delight as they showed me off to everyone and my team gave me the usual “silly Amy” look as we all sat down to eat. No curry that meal.


We took off for another village where they had currently showed the Jesus Film and it was part of the Jesus Film Team project to go back where they showed the film for a follow-up. When we arrived, everyone was sitting on the ground waiting for us. In each village, we received the same curiosity and excitement. It was a weird feeling having everyone treat us like we were some novelty. All the children would show no passivity as they approached us and shoved in front of each other to have their picture taken. What really surprised me was that the elders did the same, but with more politeness and courtesy towards each other. I wouldn’t be surprised if most people there had never had their picture taken. So for them it was a momentous ordeal. Sometimes I’m uncomfortable photographing people I don’t know for fear of being invasive or rude, but there I felt it was rude to not take a picture of someone. If someone stood in front of my camera, I couldn’t turn him or her down.


Our next stop was to a church planting mission where people were listening to a sermon and worshiping together. I felt awkward interrupting their service, but they didn’t seem to mind at all. The next stop was at an organized church then next to a Jesus Film showing. I was amazed by the openness people had to having strangers come into their village and document them and the work the church has done in those areas. I wondered if I would be so welcoming and excited if strangers from a distant land came and took my picture. Would I be flattered or offended? Would I think I was special or some kind of exhibit? I know I wouldn’t run in front of their camera or give them my smile or adoration. Why would they deserve it? Why do I deserve it? That is what I didn’t understand. I don’t deserve their kindness. I haven’t done anything for them. I had no idea about the work going on in Bangladesh before I arrived there only 2 days before. I am merely an observer and a transferer of information from them to the outside world. Nonetheless, I selfishly enjoyed their love and affection.

When we arrived back at the mission where we were lodging, my new friends greeted me with a “Happy Birthday” and a flower. I wondered, “How did they know?” Our host brought me into the back room where they handed me a beautiful bouquet of Rajangandha, a flower with a scent sweeter than honeysuckle, and also there was a lovely birthday cake sitting on the table that read, “Happy Birthday Amy.” I couldn’t believe it. I thought, “When did they do this? I was with them the whole time. They even put my name on it.” They told me there was a local who specialized in cakes, which is rare since cakes aren’t very popular there. Then everyone joined in to sing “Happy Birthday”. As the lights were turned off and the candles were lit, Vanu said, “We are all family here and I hope this makes you feel a little more like home.” Strangely it did. Out in the most rural of villages in Bangladesh I was home, surrounded by my family. It was by far one of my most memorable birthdays.



The next day we headed out to more villages that have been impacted by the Jesus Film and other related ministries. Our first stop was to a village where there was a woman’s self-help group who gathered together once a week to find ways to help their village. They all pulled their money together and then loaned it out to others in the village or surrounding villages. With the profits they made from the loan service charges they put it back into their community by buying cows, making latrines, or giving out bigger loans. We interviewed two people who took out loans that were then able to open up restaurants to support themselves and their family. We went to these restaurants and tried their specialties. One was a deep-fried honeycomb sweet and another was rice fried in sand, which tasted like rice cakes but looked like rice crispies. I was amazed at these women’s business skills.

Our next stop was to a children self-help group where they say a song for us and asked for one in return. Steve and Simone did a wonderful job with the “Noah’s Ark” song and I made sure to do a wonderful job capturing it on film. Even though the children didn’t know the words, they were still delighted.


So far I had taken more portraits on this trip than I had done in my entire photography career (can you call it a career if you don't get paid?). Portraits aren’t my favorite because I’ve never been good at them and to be honest it never really interested me. However, while out in the villages amongst the locals dressed in their traditional garb and stoic postures, I couldn’t resist. So often when someone would look at me they wouldn’t smile or look away, but just stare into my lens as if challenging me, “I’m ready. Show me what you can do.” With the click of my shutter their stoic faces would fade into a bashful smile as I showed my subjects what I could do. Most people, no matter their age, were tickled to see their picture on my little LCD screen. They would gather together and their friends would point and laugh at the still image of themselves. The children loved the whole process, pose, click, check. It almost became impossible to take pictures of anything else because they would run and position themselves in any direction my lens was pointed. Nonetheless, it was a photographer’s paradise because I felt so encouraged to take pictures that otherwise I would be too nervous or cautious to take. I don’t speak Bengali, obviously, but I don’t think anyone said, “Please no pictures, I’m not wearing any make-up today, my hair looks funky, I look tired.” Why is that Americans have such a hard time accepting how they look? We always need to look better. Why? What does looking good have to do with anything? Who are we looking good for, friends, spouses, potential spouses… ourselves?

Our next stop was to a clinic, which is rare out in the villages because it’s hard to find doctors that prefer to work close to free (hard to believe). The doctor at this clinic only comes by twice a week and the rest of the week the nurses help the patients. The nurses were so delightful. They were just as enthusiastic as the children, gathering in groups wanting their picture taken. One young woman who spoke English well asked us all if we were married. She was shocked to find out we weren’t and asked what we are waiting for. I guess Nazarenes ask the same questions every where in the world. I really enjoyed this woman’s frankness and curiosity. She was lovely and had a smile that made me automatically like her.



We got back to the center at 5pm, 2 hours behind schedule, but enough time to drink some chai (tea) and head on out to visit a Hindu temple. The temple had one of the most intrinsic designs I had ever seen. All along the walls there was detailed carving depicting life during the era of construction.




Afterward, we went to the market to buy salwar kameez (traditional dress). The small shop had hundreds of different colors and designs. I found a pink ornate one for my grandma and a cute purple one for me. I was surprised that there only appeared to be one size. I didn’t realize it until now that all the women were about the same size, short and lean. Since a salwar kameez is just pajama-like pants (salwar), a long shirt (kameez), and a long shall (dupatta) it fits most Bangladeshi women fine. Well I’m not Bangladeshi so it was a little more snug in the arms and shorter than others. A salwar kameez needs to be washed before wearing to get rid of all the dye and chemicals, but since there was no washing machine I was bathing in the purple rain... purple rain.... uhhh I mean shower.

The next day I was dressed in my new salwar and walked out feeling a little silly and awkward, until my little friend Shara told me, “very nice”. I no longer felt like a poser, but instead felt appreciated for my efforts to embrace the culture. After chai and breakfast, I had to say goodbye to my little friends because we were headed back to Dhaka that night. I wish that I had something nice to give them, but all I had was a few Rappen (Swiss coins). They didn’t complain.

Our first stop that day was to another ministry center, which welcomed us with more chai. Then we were off to another self-help center that just replaced their unsanitary well with a new water faucet, which they showed off proudly. When we left that village and walked to the next one we were followed by a posse. A man asked me for some takas (Bengali currency) and food for the baby he was holding. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any takas and tried to communicate this to him. I don’t know what he understood from my sign language but the next thing I new I was holding his adorable baby. Then some one gave me a flower and I handed it to the baby. This seemed to please and entertain the crowd along with me as well. The baby was so cute and squishy that I didn’t want to give it back right away, but I was falling behind, as usual, and needed to catch up. As I walked away, the crowd did not disperse, but continued with me. One of the young men walking with his friends with an umbrella sacrificed his friend’s shade to shield me from the blazing heat. My salwar, while light, its looseness meant I could feel a sweat bead travel from my neck down to my toes. So, therefore, I was more than grateful from the break of torment that the umbrella provided along with feeling like royalty. However, nothing in life is free since my shade-man then took a rubber-band from my wrist and put it on his. I thought, "Oh great that probably means now we're married." Luckily, he gave it back after our little stroll, guess I wasn't his type. This experience was definitely a highlight. I was really starting to love this country (except for the heat and being rejected).


When we went back to the ministry center, we had more chai, of course, which is supposed to help cool down the body, not so sure about that. We also grabbed some footage of a women self-help sewing group that got together in order to provide a second income for their family.


Our next stop was to a school where the children greeted us with painted faces singing, dancing, and throwing flower petals at us. It was incredible to feel that welcomed along with giving us an insight into their culture. Once inside the school we were given more flowers, dancing performances, and pictures the children drew for us. I couldn’t stop smiling it was all so spectacular.


After some more chai and a few more interviews we headed back to Dhaka. We arrived around midnight and I thanked Jesus for air-conditioning again. The next day we grabbed the last interviews then headed back into the city this time on our own leisure. A friend that I had met in Ukraine had grown up in Bangladesh and his father founded a store that sold crafts from local artists. Well Simone and I had to check it out and, of course, support the local artists. We then spent our last evening in Bangladesh downloading pictures and preparing for our next trip to Nepal.

The next morning I headed outside to grab a few more pictures before heading to the airport. I didn’t get far before one of the ministry team members came running out to accompany me. I guess walking out alone wasn’t the greatest idea. My “bodyguard” knew some of the locals so we were welcomed into people's huts for chai, but was chai’d out and I knew it was getting close to departure time so we headed back.


At the airport, we said our goodbyes with some final group pictures and hugs. I knew I would miss the people I had met and their hospitality. I didn’t know what to expect coming to Bangladesh, but I left feeling so blessed to have been welcomed into this country. I would love to come back, but next time I’m going to see some tigers. Rawr.

If you want to watch the video click below


If you want to check out more pictures click below.


Since I’ve been back there have been terrible floods killing hundreds of people in Bangladesh along with destroying ministry centers and schools. So please keep them in your prayers.

I'd like to leave you with "Bangla Desh" a lovely song by George Harrison released as a charity single.

Turkey

In November, over Thanksgiving, I went to Turkey. I didn’t know much about Turkey before I went there, other than it shared a name with a common American food. I was there to film a piece about a part of the church’s history. I was traveling with a tour group of missionary couples who were on vacation visiting the seven churches John sent letters to in the Bible. I knew that this assignment would pose a different kind of challenge. First off, it is the first time I was alone on a job. Second, I was not quite sure how to make a story about the history of the church. The third challenge was getting the footage I needed while being mindful of the couples on vacation because I knew I would take longer than most who were just snapping a few pictures.

We all met in Antalya, a beautiful city on the Mediterranean coast. After short introductions, we hopped on a bus with our tour guide and started our decent into the past. The first day we arrived in Laodicea and it felt like we had just stumbled upon an ancient city that no one had discovered yet. We were the only ones at the site and everything looked as if we were the first ones to find the ruins, no red tape, security, or tourists. It was our own private view into the past where a whole civilization had once gathered. Each person in the tour was assigned to a location to give a brief overview about the history and biblical significance. Laodicea was criticized for being wealthy and needing nothing, “So then because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor warm, I will vomit you out of My mouth.” (Rev 3:16) I couldn’t believe that I was standing at the church ruins where people had worshiped God, our God, thousands of years before.

Our next stop was Hierapolis (Pamukkale), a world heritage site famous for its thermal hot springs, which were believed to have healing powers from the god of the underworld, Pluto. Hierapolis is mentioned once in the Bible when Paul sends a letter to Epaphras, “Epaphras, who is one of you, a bondservant of Christ greets you, always laboring fervently for you in prayers, that you may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God. For I bear him witness that he has a great zeal for you, and those who are in Laodicea, and those in Hierapolis.” (Colossians 4:12-13)

I was amazed that a lot of the structures were still in tact. I climbed to the top of the hill to the theater to get a marvelous view of the city glowing with the setting sun. At the base of the city the white thermal springs reflected the sunset and it was one of the most memorable sights. I felt like I had stepped into another time where life was mysterious, complex, and beautiful.

In the evening I decided to go into a natural hot spring at our hotel. I swam into the cave and then put the mud on me, I don’t know if my skin felt rejuvenated, but I definitely felt like a scary swamp thing or that one was lurking in the muddy water waiting to attack me.

The next day we went to Philadelphia. It is notable that John had nothing negative to say of this church in his letters. “And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write, ‘These things says He who is holy, He who is true, “He who has the key of David, He who opens and no one shuts, and shuts and no ones opens.” (Rev 3:7) There wasn’t much left of the church except two pillars. The most interesting part of this stop was while looking through the two pillars of this ancient church was the tower of a Muslim masque. It was just fascinating to stand in a place that John had sent his letter to thousands of years ago and be surrounded by the ancient church and at the same time in a country now dominated by a new religion.

Next stop was the isolated ruins of the church of Sardis, “And to the angel of the church in Sardis write, ‘These things says He who has the seven Spirits of God and the seven stars: “I know your works, that you have a name that you are alive, but you are dead.” (Rev 3:1)

I was still astonished that we were the only ones at the site. I wondered, “Does no one know about these places… or care? However, we are in the middle of the country with no towns or villages near by. How would people know about these places? I don't.”

Our next stop was to Thyatira, which was criticized for the leniency towards the false profit Jezebel, “…you allow that woman Jezebel who calls herself a prophetess, to teach and seduce My servants to commit sexual immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols.” (Rev. 2:20)

This church was in complete ruins fenced off in the middle of the city. It was strange to roam the ruins and hear honking cars, people yelling, and every day city noise after getting used to soaking up the history in silent seclusion.

The next day we went up to the city of Pergamom, which is described as having the Zeus alter (throne of Satan), “I know your works, and where you dwell, where Satan’s throne is. And you hold fast to My name, and did not deny My faith even in the days in which Antipas was My faithful martyr who was killed among you, where Satan dwells.” (Rev 2:13)

Pergamum has one of the steepest Hellinistic theaters in the world. I was alone on the stage and just tried to imagine the theater filled with thousands of people waiting for a speech or theatrical performance. I couldn't resist giving a little speech to the empty seats, "My name is Amy Brown and I'm giving a speech...." So nothing too profound.

One of our last stops was Ephesus, it was by far the biggest and obviously most popular and well known. Ephesus still looked like a city, the roads were intact, and I could see engravings over an arch showing where a pharmacy had been and secret carvings Christians would put in the walkway in front of their house to let other Christians know they were there. Ephesus is probably the most significant of the churches for Christians because it was there where Paul preached, Timothy taught, and John sent a letter to in Revelation.

This church was criticized for forgetting to love each other, “…and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love.” (Rev. 2:3-4)

As I made my way to the theater I couldn’t believe I was standing right where Paul stood. The whole structure was gorgeous. I was just amazed at the beauty and history surrounding me. I couldn’t have stayed there long enough, but unfortunately, we had a schedule to follow.

Our next stop was to a Turkish rug seller who provided us with lunch and a tour of his business. He showed us how he took the silk from silk worms and spun them into strands and later wove them into rugs. He bragged how Turkish rugs are much better than Persians. Not knowing much about either, I took his word for it. I would have loved one of the beautiful silk rugs, but it was a little out of a volunteer budget so I just admired their beauty. Now knowing the work that is put into making these elaborate rugs I understand why the tapestries I’ve seen in museums are so rare and valuable.

After lunch we headed to Smyrna, the church where John told the Christians not to be afraid to suffer, “ … Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life.” (Rev. 2:10)

I still couldn’t believe that this place wasn’t more of a spectacle. I think that I had just been to too many museums and churches where I’ve had to wait in a long line to pay to see some part of history while being overwhelmed by trigger-happy tourists. I was really glad to enjoy this experience in peace and tranquility.

I took the last night in Izmir to walk around and enjoy a bit of the city since we had been out in the county during our whole trip. It intrigued me that at night almost any city feels the same: people, cars, lights, noise.

We headed to the airport early the next morning, so early that they were able to put us on an earlier flight. Well this gave us a longer layover in Istanbul, four hours. This seemed long enough for me to take a trip into the capital. So I hopped on a bus a headed into the city. Istanbul was unlike any other city I had been to in Turkey. There was a huge river that divided the city and aligning those rivers were magnificent gold glimmering masques. Along the side of the bridge, were hundreds of fishermen catching their daily meal or wages for the fish market close behind. Istanbul was a collision of past and present with the old masques and fisherman contrasting with western shops like Starbucks and MAC makeup.

I really enjoyed Istanbul. The city had a glow. Unfortunately, my time had run out and I went to catch the bus back. I figured that I would go to the bus stop on the opposite side of the street of where I got off thinking it would be heading to the airport. Wrong. So time was pressing and I had no idea where to catch the next bus back to the airport. It was 1:00 pm and boarding was at 2:15pm. After asking many people if they spoke English or gave my version of the airplane sign language a woman came to my rescue. She told me how to get there and gave me her number in case I missed my flight, thoughtful but hopefully not necessary. The bus was not as fast as I remembered or hoped and I had to change to another one mid way. It was now 1:45 and I had 30 min before boarding. I saw some motorcyclist who looked like taxis. I was tempted, but just in case they weren’t I didn’t have time for sign language. I couldn’t find the connecting bus so I hailed my first taxi (well my first ever taxi hailing not taxi rides). Luckily, he understood airport and my urgency, but unfortunately the traffic did not. I pulled into the airport at 2:10 ran through security and sprinted to my gate to arrive at 2:20. Made it. Phew.

While wiping off sweat and catching my breath I realized… well first off I always seem to cut it too close… but more importantly that I was sad to leave. I would definitely come back. The food was amazing, along with the people, history, culture, scenery and overall experience. I loved Turkey. The country no longer reminds me of just something I eat on thanksgiving.

Oh yes and check out my final project by clicking below...

Or you can watch a slideshow with more pictures.

Save a Volunteer

Greetings From Switzerland,

I can't believe its already been one year. I love what I'm doing here and I don't want this adventure to end. So that is why I'm extending my contract with the hope of getting support to last me through Dec. I didn't go home between contracts because of the expensive flights so I regret not getting to talk to you personally. So instead, I made you a little video that gives you a glimpse of what I'm doing here.

I hope you enjoy it.


If you would like to donate click below



If you have any questions you can email me at: inoproductions@gmail.com

Thanks for all your support.

Bulgaria

My next adventure from Macedonia was to Bulgaria with a Missionary couple (I’ll call them Mr. and Mrs. M) and their 4 little girls. The girls were between the ages of 12 and 6 and act just like sisters so I was a little worried about being crammed into a van for a 7-hour drive to their house in Sophia, Bulgaria. However, the girls were very pleasant. While watching the girls interact I thought I used to be that young arguing with my sis about things like, “I wanna listen to Dinosaur Stomp cd… well I don’t. I want Sunshine Mix…. Mom she got to listen to her cd last time… no I didn’t…. mom… moooooooooom….” Then I thought, wait, me and my sis still do that now. I had to give credit to those girls for being missionary kids, and having to grow up in a country where they don’t quite fit in. Not that growing up in America guarantees that you will fit in.

As we crossed the Macedonia-Bulgaria border I saw men riding carriages carrying hay, an old women guiding her sheep down the road, and a tractor causing a road block. It was all so simple, yet so beautiful. Bulgaria looked very similar to Northern California with its long stretch of rolling hills and trees covering them with their autumn colors.




About 7 hours later we arrived at the missionaries’ house tired and hungry. I met Simone (my boss) there and we started to layout the week ahead and decide what we wanted to accomplish. There were a lot of people to interview at many different locations.

The next day we went to Stubel, a small village, to interview a woman who had started a church there. It was amazing to listen to her story. Most people told her starting a church in the village could not be done, but she continued to gather believers and form a church. The next person we interviewed was a pastor of a church in another town who had an interesting story as well. He told us that while his church was being established there was a man who lived near by that constantly complained about the church to the authorities and wanted it to be shut down. The authorities caused some problems for the church, but did not really have a good enough reason to intervene. Well the next week the man was gathering signatures from local residence to have the church shut down and while he was walking by the steps of the church he had a heart attack and died. It was no surprise that the church no longer faced any conflict from the town’s citizens.


Me and Simone with a nice couple I randomly met when I was taking pictures near their home.


The next day we traveled to Vidrare to interview the principal of a school. The school was created for children in the local villages whose parents couldn’t afford for them to travel to school every week. The students live at the school during the week and go home on the weekend. The principal was having a hard time getting the children to behave. Then one of the Bulgaria missionaries intervened and started a bible study for the students. The children’s attitudes started to improve, so much that the parents noticed and then started their own bible study. When we arrived in a classroom all the students would stand to welcome us. I was incredibly impressed with how respectful and well behaved the students were. During the lunch break the younger children just latched on to Simone and I and wanted to play all day. They did not care that we could not speak the same language; they just wanted to feel loved. The children were amazing. Some were really shy; some were always posing for the camera, but most were smiling. It was unusual to see students without cell phones or ipods, but instead playing games and having a great time.



On the way home from Vidrare I noticed many families whose homes did not have much of a roof. Some houses looked like a Jenga structure that was only one block from crumbling. However, no matter how bleak these houses looked every time we passed someone they would always look up and smile. It made me feel so selfish and foolish for ever complaining about not having central cooling during the Redding summers or minor discomforts like that.

When I first arrived in Bulgaria it took a day to soak in the newness, and fight the vulnerable feeling inside that told me home is better. This was a feeling I get every time I travel. It usually takes a couple days of being immersed in the culture to get to the point where I do not what to leave. I was now at that point. I became so intrigued by Bulgaria that I wanted to learn more about the foreign land that I was in and the people that make it so unique to me. Time was going by so fast and I didn’t want to go “home”.

On the way back from our trip today Mrs. M started to talk about the orphanage where she worked. In the orphanage she works with the children to um… well just love them the way they should have been loved by their parents. As she described her job I couldn’t fathom doing what she does because of the heartbreak she endures every time she looks at the children’s face. I was not taken aback because the children are orphans as surprising as that sounds I am awestruck with what happens to the children at night when the lights go off. She told us that it is overt knowledge that the security guards of the orphanage are paid off to let men into the orphanage to rape the children. It is hard to even write this now let alone the feelings I had when I heard this. Mrs. M said that because of the corruption there is nothing that she can do. No one cares about orphans. I couldn’t and still can’t believe that this kind of evil is still so prevalent in the world today. Where are the authorities? This reminded me of the homeless boys in Ukraine. Now I know why those boys refuse to stay in the homes that the police try to stick them in. I would much rather be homeless and face the cold and starvation than be subjected to that kind of torture. I was filled with so much rage knowing that this can happen. I don’t know how she can have the strength to walk into that orphanage and try to convince those children that they are loved when the night before some disgusting evil “security” guard allowed them to be sexually abused. How can those children ever have a chance at a normal life or ever feeling of value? With all the missionaries we have and activists who are trying to change the world, I wondered what are they doing? How can they miss this? A main focus of the church is to bring God to people and convert people to Christianity, but I don’t think that was Jesus’ main goal. I think he would have cared more about saving the broken and battered children than planting more churches. I just don’t get it. What are we doing? What am I doing? I wish there was a way I could sneak into the orphanage and document the evil doings so I’d have evidence and those people would go to jail and get the same treatment or worse that they gave to those children. I didn’t and don’t like being filled with so much hate and anger, but they are so helpless and I feel helpless.

After I heard about these heartbreaking atrocities my heart and spirit felt heavy. Now every time I pray I think of those children and I become overwhelmed with sadness. I guess I always knew that there was evil in the world and children were mistreated like from those infomercials about adopt-a-child in Africa. You know the commercials that most hate to see and would rather change the channel than challenge their heart. While living in the California bubble I sheltered my thoughts from wandering far enough to think of all the suffering that occurs every day. Now that I know what goes on I can never go back to my blissful ignorance. These thoughts will stay with me forever.

I don’t even feel like continuing to write about the rest of the trip because I don’t want to take attention away from that experience. So I’ll end with I’ve been so impressed with the people I’ve met that have so little yet dedicate so much. This experience has stretched, humbled, and inspired me more than I could have ever imagined. Even though, my heart is heavier now that it ever has been I feel blessed to carry this burden of knowledge and an aching to impact this world the way it has impacted me.

Macedonia

So as I sat on a plane in Slovenia getting ready to fly to Macedonia I thought, this is my favorite part of my job, going somewhere totally new and not knowing what to expect. When I arrived in Macedonia I was surprised how much it reminded me of Slovakia. Even the layout of the airport felt familiar. I was in Macedonia for the Southeastern Europe Field Conference in order to interview people from all over the region while they were all collected in the same place. The Southeastern Europe region is made up of 12 countries: Macedonia, Bulgaria, Slovenia, Romania, Greece, Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia, Albania, Kosovo, Herzegovina, and Croatia.





Everyone we interviewed that week had a good story to tell, but there were a few that really captured my attention. For example, we interviewed people that had come from a Muslim background and they still had not told their families that they converted to Christianity out of fear of shaming their family or being disowned. I cannot fathom my family disowning me for anything I had done or could do. Losing my family would not just mean there are 3 less people in my life, but it’s like losing my history, security, friends, love, and identity. My family helped shape who I am. When I heard some of these stories I felt fortunate to have a family that loves me no matter how different our opinions may be. Those who accept Christianity knowing the consequences inspire me. It made me wonder what price would I pay for my faith? Could I give up my family to follow Jesus?

Other than our interviews, most of the time at the conference was spent in seminars. I enjoyed some of the seminars, but I preferred the time spent getting to know people. At the end of the conference there was a unique moment during the talent show when each country representatives sang a folklore or their national anthem. Romania sang their national anthem, which was adopted when they formed their independence from communist rule in 1989. It was strange to think of communism, as something so real when before it seemed so distant and foreign. The Romanians were so proud to be able to sing their national anthem. It was quite amazing to hear about the turmoil that some of these countries have faced and are still facing.

I listened to one of the Kosovo believers talk about the struggle of not being recognized as a country. My ignorance of this big world continues to amaze me. We continued our conversation as we went into the city of Strumica to get some b-roll footage (alternate footage that intercut with the main shot in an interview or documentary. For example, if the interviewee says I love PB&J sandwiches and then there was a separate shot of PB&J sandwiches that would be the b-roll footage). One Kosovo guy I talked to was an English major and also had started a Political Science degree. He told me that he hopes to work for the Kosovo Embassy one day. I foolishly asked him if he wanted to leave Kosovo and live in a more, well, stable country. He said he loves and respects his country and wants it to prosper and that is why he wants to work for the UN, in order to serve Kosovo and help make a difference in his country. I was fascinated with the respect he and the other Kosovars had for their country. I believe that too many times people complain about their country, but never make any effort to change anything. I wondered if due to Kosovo’s recent struggle for independence is why they had such national pride. I found that to be very admirable.

At the end of the conference I was glad to be getting out of the hotel and going to Bulgaria, but sad to leave these amazing people I had just met. Everywhere I have gone and everyone I have me seem to affect my life in a way that I will never be able to recover from. For that I am thankful.