Wet the Bed

First off I'm not referring to myself. I haven't done that in years. I'm referring to the Chris Brown song "Wet the Bed". While I was working out and listening to my Today's RnB & HipHop radio station on Pandora this song came on. I'm more of an NPR snob, but when I workout I need more than monotone voices and pledge drives to keep me pumped up. I've never heard this song before probably because I don't support women abusers therefore avoid supporting the likes of Chris Brown... even though we are related. First off I couldn't believe that Pandora would play such a sexual song. Can parents filter Pandora stations? I don't consider myself to be a prude. I love hip hop and rap and dancing to a good beat. I do feel conflicted as a feminist by singing along to some of the degrading lyrics, but how can you not shake it to "I like big butts"? So call me a hypocrite.

I also have had many arguments with my dad explaining the art in rap music, "Dad its not all just filled with swearing and sex." At least he agrees that Eminem is very talented. Yet how will I ever convince him that hip hop can be artistic and creative when I hear a song like this. If you are my grandma don't read the following lyrics.

CHRIS BROWN - WET THE BED
Hear the sound of your body drip, drip, drip

As I kiss both sets of lips, lips, lips
Hear the sound of your body drip, drip, drip
As I kiss both sets of lips, lips, lips

I ain't afraid to drown, if that means I’m deep up in your ocean, yeah
Girl I’ll drink you down, sipping on your body all night
I just wanna take your legs an’ wrap them round
Girl you cummin’ right now
My head to your chest feeling your heartbeat, girl
Swimming all in your sea
And you sweatin’ all over me
Girl, lean forward, don’t you run, girl
I don’t want to be a minute man
Baby you're just like a storm
Rainin’ on me girl, you're soakin’ wet

I’mma kiss you right, yeah, yeah
I’m gon' lick all night, yeah, yeah
Girl, when I’m inside yeah, yeah
Yeah girl, you heard what I said
I’m gonna make you wet the bed
Yeah yeah
Girl I’m gonna make you wet the bed
Yeah yeah
I’m gonna make you wet the bed
I’mma put your legs behind your head
I’m gonna make you wet the bed

And repeat. And multimillions. I know I've heard and could find songs extremely more sexual, violent, and or offensive. I'm not upset by this song just disappointed. Maybe I should be glad that at least there is more sexual equality in the sense that it's not all about women pleasing men. I guess I should thank Brown for a song about a more selfless act of pleasuring his partner. Oh please don't make me laugh... I might wet the bed.

My wittle bed wetter.

 

My positive blurb: Another great coffee date. That's three in a row. Popular week.  

If you think I'm not giving this song enough credit you can listen to it yourself below.

So what's your plan?

Day 4

So what's your plan? That dreaded phrase from concerned loved ones. No one ever says this when you are at the top of your game, good career, husband, kids, big new house. That phrase wouldn't make sense for them. People ask you what your future plans are when it's obvious that your current situation isn't a good one and there is a lack of progress. Um my plan? You mean working for minimum wage while living at home and no promotion coming my way doesn't look like I have it all figured out? This might be fine if I was 18, but with a college degree and some crows feet it looks somewhat... well worthy of that question. I used to have a plan. Around 10 years old I decided I wanted to be a tennis pro. I practices 4-6 hours a day. I asked my parents to home school me in 4th grade which gave me more training time. My life was planned. Go pro. Play till I'm 34ish. Settle down and spend my fortune traveling the world doing photography and supporting any new hobbies. Well around 22 I realized that plan had a flaw. I'm not good enough and didn't have the money to invest into getting better. Soooo... I quit planning. I was a free spirit. No plans. Wherever life takes me. That worked till I was 24 when life dropped me in a sinkhole.


I miss the days when no one asked about my "plan", like when I was getting my film degree, or the assistant college coach, or a documentarian in Switzerland. You know how you compare yourself to friends or old classmates or exes to see who is more successful. Don't lie.

Me: "Oh hey so and so. It's been so long. What are you doing?"

Frienemy: "Oh married with kids, stable job."

Me: "I'm traveling the world free of attachments."

Frienemy: "Sounds lonely."

Me: "Oh no it's amazing."

Secretly you both asses who is better off.

Compare, compete, conquer. Don't act like you don't do this. Well unless you're like me now and you've been disqualified from the game. Now when I say what my life consists of I go from competition to condolences. In the past week I've met with 3 friends all who seemed legitimately concerned about my future. So my life isn't going how I thought. I'm not a tennis pro, I'm not putting that degree to work, and I'm not married with children. I just don't know what I want to do. I'm trying to figure out my next step so I'm open to opinions, but still I hate that stupid question. Don't get me wrong I totally appreciate the questioners interest in my life. Also, I'm am extremely happy for my successful friends. Soooo happy. Sigh. Anywho.

So what's my plan? Avoid meeting with friends... Or find friends who also don't have a plan... but who'd wanna hang out with those losers.



On a positive note. Had fun walking Vive with my old friend Albert (soon to be Dr. Bui). This blog is in no way connected with our meeting.

Driven to the brink

Day 3

I had my day all planned. At 12:30 workout, 2:00 meet friend for coffee, 2:30 go to bank and transfer funds to another bank before work at 4:00. Nothing special. Typical day. Everything was going so smoothly. Then at 3:40 something I hadn't planned for... people. When did everyone get here? Why am I still so surprised by the masses that congregate around the areas that should only be occupied by me; like the bank. I have unusual working hours 4pm-12am and the few perks of this job is that everyone else should still be at work when I want to run my errands. So is everyone also working late shifts? Or just not working? And if you're not working then why do you have anything to do at the bank? So as I sit three cars behind the person who I assume is having a hard time depositing monopoly money my heart rate goes up. I'm running out of time and I have to cover my charges to avoid an overdraft fee. The length this person is taking is starting to concern me that maybe his hand got stuck in the machine. Out of pure care and concern I get out of my car to see if I can assist the ATM victim. Luckily he drove away right afterwards... unharmed... by the machine of course. Now I'm third in line. Let's go. Hurry. 3:47. Ok my turn 50 seconds and done. Now to the next bank. Where is all this traffic coming from? Did we build a stadium where Coldplay is performing the grand opening? Where is everyone going? Oh ya in my direction. At next bank. Only 1 person! Phew. I should switch banks. 3:52. Eek. Ok done. 3:56. Work is 6 min away... but if I hurry. Red light. Damn. Ok fast fast. I might make it. Going fast. Stupid rap song with police siren. Heart rate up. Ok looking good green lights. So close. 3:58. Whoa Honda civic. I'll just go around you. Oh no. The gap has closed. Red light! Ahhh. Stupid Honda ^@&?!$. Ok go go go. Ahhh Honda we can make it you don't slow down. Gooo... Yellow yellow RED! Why?! Why don't I account for drivers like you? Why do I plan my time as if I own a private island? Population me. I'd probably still be late. Stupid sea turtles. However, I was told if you want a dream to come true you need to act like its a reality. Like when you spend money like you're a millionaire. That works right? 4:05 walks into work. No one notices I'm late. Ulcer.

Morbid Driver

Oh positive stuff. Gosh when will this positive over take the negative? Wonderful coffee date with an old friend that's in town. Makes me feel good knowing there are still a select few that enjoy my company... even though she made me late.

Bachelor Backfire

Day 2

I quit. No not my resolution, but trying to understand society. I'm sitting at work totally upset. Today it's not because I work for minimum wage nor that it's a National holiday and I don't get holiday pay, I'm upset that it's a holiday, I'm making poop wages and I have to suffer through watching 2 hours of the Bachelor along with Celebrity Wife Swap. Why do people watch these shows? What is so fascinating about seeing women attack each other and an overwhelming amount of crying. Who thought it was acceptable to have a 30 sec promo with only sobbing women? Am I the only one that finds it to be misogynistic and sadistic? Is no one else disturbed by this? I just don't understand. If anyone has any insight into why these shows are so popular please let me know. So much crying!!! Luckily I had something to preoccupy myself. I shaved down my callouses and painted my toes. For once I'm thankful for my thick callouses. Next week I might wax my legs. I have to go through a whole season so I'm open to distraction recommendations.

My distraction setup

 

 Oh wait I forgot my positive thoughts... I'm so thankful for nail polish. Done.

Happy Poo Year!

Resolution... make this year better than last. This shouldn't be too hard since last year was shit.

I'd like to sum up the past 12 months in a best and worst of list:

January: Injured hip (can't play sports)
February: Dealt with sexual harassment and overall awfulness at job
March: Unemployed
April: Turn 26
May: Start hating new minimum wage job
June: Car air conditioner breaks
July: Applied for food stamps
August: Still hate job
September: Adopted brother passes away
October: Hip is still broken, replacing muscle with fat, and 50% of paycheck is going trying to fix it
November: Broke and holidays are here and no car heater
December: 2 year anniversary since I've moved home with parents

Now there are people that have it worse than I do so this is not a competition... well unless I thought I was gonna win, but I'm not... right?

I know I shouldn't start the year being a downer so that's why I'm starting this blog. I need to start being inspired. Take my life into my own hands. If I can complain it's because I know the solution. Not true but it sounded good the first time I heard it. I don't know the answer and I will still continue to complain. Even though I don't fully comprehend how I'll make this year better I am going to start taking steps to better myself. First thing, blog. Blog every day... well as much as I can. NO every day! Ok #2 I'm a photographer with a degree for goodness sakes so next thing is to start taking pictures... every day? So far this is doable right? I keep looking at the clock cause I have 48 minutes to finish this blog or I already fail my resolution. With the time in mind I'll stop there. Damn I forgot the 2011 best of list. This shouldn't take long.

1.... umm... got a puppy (more broke)
2. and a boyfriend (this can go on both lists... I kid... only cause he'll prob read this... kisses?)
3. oh ya that dumb ass broke as shit hate my life f*&#ing year is over!

Breathe. Only positive thoughts. Ok 2012 let's do this!


January 1, 2012 and I have successfully gone through one day of the new year without breaking my resolutions. Blog done with 32 minutes to spare... 31.

Picture of the day: Roarrior the Catzilla reminding me that holidays are over.

I only said a picture every day... never that it was going to be a great one... 29 min.

Yart Sale

The Brown girls are embarking on a huge adventure that we have never done before.... we are going to Chicago for Jesus! We went to a conference a couple months back and heard about a bigger conference in Chicago and felt lead to go. Now we need God to send us there financially because we are all struggling but through one of the ways is help from our friends.

We decided we are going to put on a yard/art sale to help raise money for the trip.... traveling cost, housing, and food. There are a few ways that you can help

1. Donating anything that you don't want for the yard sale. We will take furniture, clothes, jewlery, etc

2. We invite our friends to set up their own art to help themselves raise money. I will use Meegan for example (she makes hats and she sold some lovely hats at the last yart sale) So if you have any sell-able art then please come and set up.

3. Simply donating

We want to make this kind of a modern type yard sale party. We will have music, BBQ, , sweets, art tables etc.... kinda like a bloc party. Please let me know if you are interested in doing anything or have any questions and we shall converse. Thanks so much!

DATES & TIMES

JULY 15-16 8AM-2PM

Help!

It all started with a conference my mom wanted me and my sister to go to. It was called "Jesus Culture". Now don't get me wrong, I love Jesus, I love me a lot of Jesus, but I feel like I have heard of "Jesus" conferences and I either end up trying to sleep in a uncomfy chair, or end up setting there fuming because of some comment someone made about all women needed to procreate or something. But my mom is really good at guilt tripping sooooo, we went.

Now first off the worship just made you crave for more Jesus, you could feel the spirit so heavy in the room that you wanted to be a part of the movement. It was elevating. The worship went on for over an hour, normally I would have sat down and be done with it already, but when it ended it was almost sad. My spirit was unsatisfied, I wanted more.

The speakers came out and were all awesome. They all talked about their personal journeys with God and the power of the spirit. It was truly inspiring. I would go into more detail but we just dont have that kind of time today.

During the course of the 3 day conference they kept mentioning a bigger conference in Chicago. I kinda brushed it off because, oh I donno, its in CHICAGO. I mean I would love to go, but because of everyones current financial situations, ahem, my parents, lets be honest they pay for a lot, it just never occurred to me to ever consider it. A few days went by and my mom said that she really felt it in her heart that we were supposed to go to the conference. I kinda laughed because I felt it in my heart but I figured that was because I just want to go to Chicago. Well when the weeks continued of wanting to be a part of this movement in Chicago we finally decided as the Brown Family Girls, that we were going to embark on this adventure.

Then comes the fund raising. See, im the fun one, not the "lets sit down and figure this out" one. So, although I am on board to help, it wasn't ever really a motivation. UNTIL, I saw the movie Source Code. They panned over this magical city right in the beginning of the movie, I thought it was a made up set or something because I have never seen anything like it, nope, wasn't made up, it was CHICAGO. Thats when I started my motivation. I am so excited to start this adventure to go to Chicago with my sister and mom. We have always been girls to take a city by storm and I have the faith that God will get us there one way or another. If that means hitchhiking by an airport, so be it. Im in.

It seems that the Brown Girls adventures have always been pretty split up, we have had great adventures but not really as all three. This time we will leave with sparkles in our eyes, more in love with Jesus, and memories that we will be able to share forever.

Thank you Jesus for this opportunity. Thank you for being the best lover that we will ever find, and thank you for sweeping us off our feet daily and soon sweeping us over to Chicago.

Also, thank you ahead of time for those who are keeping us in your prayers and supporting us in any ways you can.

We will continue to update this blog throughout this adventure and do our best to bring you along